The Story: Batista finally regained the title at Survivor Series. WWE decided that no one would pay for the 1345th Booker/Batista rematch. So, they bring in John Cena to boost the buyrate. People beat each other up. Brawls were ensued.

I am going to call it right here…you heard this prediction here first…THE LITTLE BASTARD WILL INTERFERE.

Prediction: John Cena & Batista after Finlay turns on Booker

Issac Yankem vs. Montel Vontavious Porter (MC Hammer)

The Story: MVP is a prima donna. He’s escaped Kane’s clutches time after time after time after time after time after time after time after time. He even interfered in his half-brother’s match The Undertaker. Since Undertaker & Kane are not feuding this week, Kane is offended. Kane will get revenge in one of the coolest matches that only Kane, The Undertaker, and Stephanie’s McMahon’s Teddy Bear have ever had to endure. THE INFERNO MATCH!

Prediction: Kane

MISSTERR KKEENNEEDDYY!!!! vs. The Undertaker

The Story: MISSTERR KKEENNEEDDYY!!!! has beaten them all. He even beat Undertaker at Taboo Tuesday AND Survivor Series. Undertaker doesn’t like that. Since WWE burned their one casket match for the year at Wrestlemania, they now fight in a Last Ride Match, which is like an ambulance or stretcher match…BUT IN A HEARSE!

Prediction: MISSTERR KKEENNEEDDYY!!!!

Chris Benoit vs. Chavo Guerrero (w / The Fabulous Moolah)

The Story: Eddie Guerrero died.

Prediction: Chavo Guerrero

Jimmy Wang Yang (w/ Boobs) vs. Gregory Suga’ Shane Hurricane Helms

The Story: Gregory Suga’ Shane Hurricane Helms has been the longest reigning champion presently in the WWE and the longest reigning Cruiserweight Champion. Jimmy Wang Yang likes NASCAR and a redneck. But you see…he’s Asian! Asians like Karate & Nintendo…not NASCAR! OMGWTFROTFLMFAOBBQ!!!!1

Prediction: Gregory Suga’ Shane Hurricane Helms

Kendrick & London vs.Sir William Regal & Squire David Taylor

The Story: Who fucking gives a rat’s ass?

Prediction: Taylor & Regal 

The Story: Boogeyman eats worms. The Miz is afraid of worms.

Prediction: The Miz in the upset of the night