Sorry for this one being late. Its a combination of laziness and this being a 3 hour show. More than likely, I am going to miss next weeks edition (plus it’d be in poor taste). So…see you on the 1st! K-Fed will be there, which should supply me with PLENTY of material!

JR: Boomer Sooner! Its a 30 Man Battle Royal! By gawd!
Brooklyn Brawler: Holy crap!
Shawn Michaels: Okay guys, I am going to win because I want to.
Randy Orton: Can’t argue with an argument like that!
Shawn Michaels: SWEET!
Edge: Yoink!
::Edge wins::

Chris Masters: Sweet! I am NOT taking on Lawler this week
Carlito: no, man’, but u gotta deal wit’ carlito! u talked some serious shit in ur blog. now its payback time!
Chris Masters: Well, what if I don’t wanna wrestle youl. What if maybe I just want to hold this off for another week. What about me? What about Chris Masters?!
Carlito: Uhhh…
::No contest::

Jeff Hardy: Sweet! After getting totally decimated in a ladder match last night, now we take on The World’s Greatest Tag Team & Nitro! WE CAN’T LOSE!
Matt Hardy: Dude… what show am I even on?
Johnny Nitro: You are on Monday Nitro!
Matt Hardy: Oh shut up!
Johnny Nitro: No! YOU SHUT UP!
Shelton: Oh both of you shut up!
::Shelton pins Matt:
ESSTTTRAAADDAA: We want JOAN SIMA to win!
UUUUMMAAAGGGAAA: Grr…

Johnny Nitro: Dude! K-Fed! Why are you conviently located within 10 feet of me just as the camera decided follow me?!
K-Fed: I fucked Britney…

Ric Flair: WOOO!
Kenny Dykstra: Holy crap! I have a last name!
Ric Flair: WOOO!
::Kenny wins::

Edge: Hey! Why is my match on so early?
John Cena: Because…I just couldn’t wait Edge. It has been sooo loonnnggg since we last went at it
Edge: Uhhh….
John Cena: …IN THE RING!
Edge: Rriiiiggghhttt… Well, since you are feeling that way, why not let me win the match
John Cena: I don’t see a problem with that.
Randy Orton: Alright then! ::RKOs John Cena::
DX: We have a problem with that! ::HHH pedigrees Edge::
::Triple H wins::

Cryme Tyme: YO YO YO! See G-Dubs!
Dubya: I like me some black bitches!
Vince Russo: Now this is just ridiculous…

Mickie James: …
Victoria: …
::Victoria wins::

K-Fed: I am not K-Fed! I am Kevin Federline!
Audience: AAANNNDDD….
K-Fed: UHhh…I am not K-Fed! I am Kevin Federline
Audience: AAANNNDDD….
K-Fed: I am not K-Fed! I am Kevin Federline!
::Abbott & Costello run in to make the save::

Triple H: God dammit! Another one of these?! Okay, who is going to get pinned this week?
Shawn Michaels: Not me! I should have won a battle royal!
Edge: Not me! I already lost today
Cena: Not me! I’m the champ!
Triple H: Not me! Or I will tell daddy!
Randy Orton: Not me! I have a cool drop kick!
UUUUMMAAAGGGAAA: GRRR!!!!
Edge: Crap! We all present interesting arguments!
Randy Orton: Hey Edge! Are you thinking what I am thinking?
Edge: I think I do!
Rated RKO: NO CONTEST!
::No contest!:::
Randy Orton: Now lets express our frustrations by beating the crap out of DX and presenting two conchairtos!
Edge: I like your style!
JR: BY GAWD! BOOMER SOONER! BBQ SAUCE! GOVERNMENT MULES! 2 DOLLAR STEAKS! DX! DX! DX HAS BEEN BROKEN IN HALF!