John Cena: I want UMAAAAGGGAAA!!!
Melina: What about K-Fed?
John Cena: I want K-FED!
Chris Masters: How about me?
John Cena: I want Chris Masters!
Coachman: Well, I propose something…how about a Masterlock Challenge
John Cena: BORING! You dance funny!
Coachman: That’s it! Your title is now on the line!
::John Cena cries::
John Cena: Gosh…did you have to be so mean about it?! GOSH! ::weeps::

(Backstage)
Kenny: Hey, let me join RKO!
Randy: Why should we let you?
Kenny: Hey, let me join RKO!
Edge: Why should we let you?
Kenny: Hey, let me join RKO!
Edge: Why should we let you?
Abbott: Not again!
Costello: Just shut up already!

Lillian: Piper has cancer. This match is dedicated to him
Lance Cade: Wait! No one told us this was a tribute match!
Trevor Murdoch: Well, maybe its us who is dedicating the match. Who are our opponents?
Lance Cade: Highlanders
Trevor Murdoch: FUCK!
::Highlanders win::

Maria: …
Victoria: …
::Victoria wins::

Cryme Tyme: I was gonna trim the tree, until I got high. I was gonna buy you a DVD but then I got high. My presents stay wrapped up, and I know why. Cause I got high. Because I got high. Because I got high

Shelton Benjamin: I’m offended
Super Crazy: Si!
Shelton Benjamin: Oh….It is ON!
::Shelton pins Super Crazy::
Charlie Hass: We’re the world’s greatest tag team!
Shelton Benjamin: Fo shizzle!

Chris Masters: No one has broken my master lock!
John Cena: Hey Chris! Let me break it!
Chris Masters: NO!
John Cena: BUT…its Christmas… ::starts crying::
Chris Masters: Awwww…shucks…
::John Cena wins::
UUUMMMMAAAAAAGGGAAA: Grrrr!
John Cena: OH! ITS ON!!!!
Jim Ross: By gawd! BOOMER SOONER! BBQ SAUCE! They’re like government mules and 2 dollar steaks! By gawd!

Viscera: Hey Torrie! Will you go out with me?
Torrie: Liek…no!!!
Carlito: Mabel! whuts dis i hear ’bout u taking me off ur top 8 on myspace?!
Viscera: Well…Mo signed up for an account.
Carlito: u no whut? ur fat! LMAO!
Viscera: You know, fat people have feelings too.
DAMN: … DAMN!

Todd: blah blah blah blah
Shawn: You hurt our friend!
HHH: Look at me while I give you my constipated look!

Viscera: Carlito! You shall fall!
Torrie: Hey! Look a diversion! My boob!
::Carlito pins Viscera::
Viscera: OMGWTFBBQ?!
Torrie: :LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLZ!!!1

John Cena: Armando! UUUMMMMAAAAAAGGGAAA said “Grrr!” NOBODY SAYS “Grrr!”
Coachman: You can’t touch UUUMMMMAAAAAAGGGAAA.
John Cena: Even though he said “Grrr!”?
Coachman: Yes! That’s how serious this is
John Cena: ::cries::

Val Venis: Whoa! How did I get here?! What the fuck? Well…shit…Hey! Look everyone! Lesbians!
Eugene: I’m special
Val Venis: Dude…its lesbians!
Eugene: I’m special!
Val Venis: Well…he got me…

Edge: I will pin one of you!
HHH: Well, you can’t pin me. I’m sleeping with the boss’s daughter
HBK: You can’t pin me. I pray to Jesus.
Jeff: You can’t pin me. I’m the Intercontinental Champion
Matt: GOD DAMMIT! NOT AGAIN!
::Edge pins Matt Hardy::
Kenny: Hey, let me join RKO!
HHH: ARGH! THIS IS MY ANGRY FACE!
HBK: AND MINE TOO!
::credits roll::

The Story; These four ECW legends will finally collide in what is undoubtedly an ECW Dream Match!

Predicted Winners: MNM

That’s the card! Perhaps we can predict the rest of the card?

Remember…this isn’t the actual card. This is my PREDICTED card! 

EXTREME Singles Match: Hardcore Sparky Plugg vs. The Sandman

Predicted Winner: Bobby

EXTREME Tag Team Match: Sylvester Turkey & Elijah Burke vs. The F.B.I.

Predicted Winner: Turkey & Gravy… wow, that might actually work for a tag team name!

EXTREME Who the Fuck Cares? Match: Kevin Thorn vs. Balls Mahoney

Predicted Winner: Balls Mahoney

EXTREME Open Challenge Match: Matt Striker calls out anyone…gets new ECW arrival…Gene Snitsky!i

Predicted Winner: Gene Snitsky by Countout (I get 4 points if I predicted every element from Matt Striker to the count out!)

EXTREME Rumored Match: Tommy Dreamer vs. Davari

Predicted Winner: No Contest 

EXTREME Battle Royal - Rest of Roster

Predicted Winner: Mike Knox

EXTREME Pillow Fight: Pair of Boobs #1 vs. Pair of Boobs #2

Predicted Winner: No Contest

Wow, as you can tell, this is going to be worth your $35! So, I stress to all of you, you must order this Pay-Per View! Order November to Remember December to Dismember

MUWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

In all seriousness, it’d be interesting to see if I actually predicted half of the card.