This Sunday, WWE hosts arguably the most anticipated Pay Per View of every WWE Year. That is The Royal Rumble!

The Most Star Studded Royal Rumble Match Ever

The Story: Dude, its the fucking Royal Rumble! It doesn’t even need a story! The winner goes on to Wrestlemania after 1 hour of non-stop excitement. The little gimmick here is that this one has the most upper midcarders and main eventers to be featured in a Royal Rumble. Looking at this picture, I see 18 plausible winners, so I can see that argument… especially with The Miz.

Predicted Winners:

Smackdown -  The Undertaker

Raw - Shawn Michaels

ECW - CM Punk

MISTER KENNEDY! vs. Batista

The Story: MISTER KENNEDY has defeated everybody, and has won championships. Now, the only thing left for him is the World Title. Batista has that title. Boom…insta-main event!

Predicted Winner - Batista

UUUMMMAAAGGGAAA vs. John Cena

The Story: UUUMMMAAAGGGAAA was undefeated for awhile. Cena defeated him at New Years Revolution. Now he’s not undefeated. EESSTTRRAADDAA called it a fluke. This hurt John Cena’s feelings. After crying in his beer, he went on for a rematch. Umaga may have ruptured John Cena’s spleen too with a wicked table spot. WOW! Despite the fact that no doctor or promoter in their right mind would let a wrestler compete so early after ruptering a spleen…and thus defying all logic, Cena will take on UUUMMMAAAGGGAAA in the Rematch of the Century.

Predicted Winner: John Cena

Brock Lesnar II vs. Test(icle)

Test was randomly pushed into the ECW Title scene for no reason and now has Lashley this Sunda. Excluding the rather decisive finish from last Tuesday’s ECW show where Test has no excuse about his loss…Test TOTALLY deserves this title shot in both kayfabe and not kayfabe. OHHH YEAH!

Predicted Winner: Brock Lesnar II

The Hardy Boyz vs. Kane Jr. & Johnny Nitro

Hardy Boyz broke Mercury’s nose in a randomly booked ladder match. That smarted. Therefore, these teams hate each other.

Predicted Winners: MNM