Vince: Donny! You embarrassed me! Now! I shall extract my revenge…. ONNN YYYOOOUUU!!!
Donald: Vince, I challenge you to a match at Wrestlemania.
Vince: I’m broke off my ass…err…I mean I broke my ass in my last match. So, we can’t wrestle.
Crowd: YOU SUCK!
Donald: They’re right!
Vince: Nah uh
Donald: Yeah huh!
Vince: So what do we do at Wrestlemania?
Donald: We have representatives fight for us….and its a hair match! Loser will let the winner shave their head!
Vince: No way! I am not going to let you shave my bush again! Not after what happened last time
Donald: Wrong head, you idiot!
Vince: Oh…that’s okay!
Everyone: Holy crap, that might actually be interesting…

Johnny Quagmire: Giggidity! Giggidity!
Melina: I can’t wrestle! AHHHHH!!!!
Super Crazy: HOLA!!!
Mickie James:  This biyiatch is kerazy!
Super Crazy: Lets do the corner 10 punch thing while the crowd counts in Spanish!
Crowd: One two three four five six seven eight!
Paul Heyman at Home: AGH! : :throws vase at wall::
Melina: Hey! Can I botch some spots?
Mickie James: How many?
Melina: How about seven?
::Melina & Johnny Nitro win::

Maria: Leik! Oh my gosh! HBK! Whut do ya, leik, think of, OH MY GOSH, Wrestlemania! Tee hee!
HBK: Buy my DVD!

Todd: So, Flair, why was Flair not fair to Carlito?
Ric Flair: He’s a slacker! Plus, he de-friended me on MySpace. NOBODY DE-FRIENDS THE NATURE BOY! WOOO!
Carlito: dude! for the last time, i didn’t de-friend you!

Chris Masters: Okay, Jeff! I have something to say
Jeff Hardy: No, you don’t!
::Jeff Hardy wins::
Chris Masters: What the hell did you do that for?! I just wanted to let you know that you left your lights on your car! WHAT THE FUCK?!

Jerry Lawler: Hi! I’m the legendary Jerry Lawler here to introduce to you the legendary ROWDY RODDY PIPER!
Roddy Piper: Hi! I’m the legendary Rowdy Roddy Piper here to introduce to you the legendary DUSTY RHODES!
Dusty Rhodes: Hi!
UUUMMMAAAGGGAAA: Grrr….
::UUUMMMAAAGGGAAA annihilates Piper & Rhodes::
JR: By gawd! BOOMER SOONER! He beat up the legends! REPREHENSIBLE! BBQ SAUCE!

Carlito: So flair….
Flair: SHUT UP SLACKER!
:: Ric Flair wins::

Edge: Welcome to the A-Show guys
Randy Orton: YEAH! THE A-SHOW!
MVP: Woah! Holmes! I’m the A-Guy!
Kennedy: Hey! Igotagreatideaguyswhydon’twelikecallourselvestheA-Teamorsomethingman!!!! MVPyoucouldbeMisterT!!!!
Edge: Anybody got Quaaludes?
Randy Orton: Okay…who’s going to get pinned in this one?
HBK, Undertaker, John Cena, Batista, MVP, Kennedy, and Edge: YOU!
::Team Wrestlemania wins::

• Donald Trump looked like he was having fun out there. I can’t believe they actually made into something I’d actually like to see. It will be great seeing Vince cry while he’s being held down to have his head shaved.
   
• After Melina fucked up two spots in a row, I started counting at Melina fucked up seven in a row. I think that breaks the record!
   
• Eugene actually made Khali look somewhat decent in the ring! I don’t credit Khali AT ALL…I credit Eugene.
   
• Not much else, pretty much standard Pre-PPV fluff!