WWE must of forgot that they had a Pay-Per View this weekend and threw this card together. It is No Way Out 2007! Sad thing is that, despite the pointlessness of almost every match, it still has better prospects than ECW’s December to Dismember. Let us see how my predictions go this time!

WWE must of forgot that they had a Pay-Per View this weekend and threw this card together. It is No Way Out 2007! Sad thing is that, despite the pointlessness of almost every match, it still has better prospects than ECW’s December to Dismember. Let us see how my predictions go this time!

Boogeyman & The Little Booger vs. Fit Finlay & The Little Bastard

The Story: Little Boogeyman is a crappy name. I say we call him The Little Booger. Anyway, The Little Bastard has been reeking havoc for the past year…probably having to go the bathroom many times because he has to stay hidden under the ring for so long on so many nights. Hey, how do they get them under there anyway? Do they transport crates? An underground tunnel? Diguise them as ring crew and they climb under the ring while people don’t think about it?

Anyway, The Little Bastard & Finlay, who loves to fight, were surprised to find out that The Boogeyman was packing heat in the form of The Little Booger. Now, they fight in what is surely to be a trainwre…I mean a fantastic Mix Tag Match!

As a rule, in all midget mix tag matches, the Heels ALWAYS win. I cite WM3 Team Bundy vs. Team Hillbilly Jim, WM10 Dink & Doink vs. Bam Bam & Luna, Survivor Series 1994 - Lawler with Sleazy, Cheesy, and Queasy vs. Doink with Dink, Pink, and Wink.

Predicted Winner: Finlay & The Little Bastard

Cruiserweight Invitational

The Story: Gregory Helms has held the title for a long time.

Predicted Winner: Gregory Helms… Rey Mysterio might even make an appearance!

Diva Talent Contest

The Story: Oh dear god no. Apparently we will be having a Diva Talent contest. Jillian lost a bikini contest, and that wasn’t fair because she wanted to sing… hence this clusterfuck. Divas from any brand are invited!

It will be pretty much your standard Diva Contest protocol. Jillian will sing. Kristal will dance sensually and should be the winner, but probably won’t because she’s not white. Ashley will do nothing of note. Michelle McCool will still try to do her best Stacy Keibler impersonation. ECW’s Extreme Expose will dance to a dead crowd. Candice Michelle is likely to make an appearance and we still won’t give a fuck. …and of course, Torrie Wilson will win somehow…even if she is not in the contest… SHE WILL WIN.

Predicted Winner: The Merchandise Stands

King Booker vs. Diesel II

The Story: I don’t know.

Predicted Winner: Kane

Black Lesnar vs. Mister Kennedy

The Story: Brock II made a random appearance on SmackDown, and Mister Kennedy decided he wanted a match. Now its booked… FOR ECW GOLD!

Predicted Winner: Bobby Lashley

London & Kindrick vs. Grease

The Story: Deuce & Domino were pissed that they were given a sucky gimmick. So, they beat up the Tag Champs. Even pinned them a couple of times in tag matches. WWE initially booked the big money Ladder Re-Match from Armageddon. Realizing that fans might of actually wanted to see that, the guy who made that error was fired…thus, this match was made.

Predicted Winners: London & Kindrick

Chris Benoit & The Hardy Boyz vs. Mankind, Quagmire, and MC Hammer

The Story: Hardyz have decimated MNM every week on Raw & SmackDown. Now… Benoit and MVP join in for no reason as we have this Six Man Tag Match!

Predicted Winners: MNM & MVP

John Cena & HBK vs. The Undertaker & Batista

The Story: We have two Wrestlemania main events. So, for the first time in history…the main events collide!

Predicted Winners:: No Contest