Vince: You must excuse me, I just came back from my meeting from  the Ministry of Silly Walks. Apparently my walk has gotten rather silly as of late. Anyway, my representative for Wrestlemania is…
Everyone: Please not Khali! Please not Khali! Please not Khali! Please not Khali! Please not Khali!
Vince: UUUUMMMMAAAGGGAAA!!!
Everyone: Phew!
UUUUMMMMAAAGGGAAA: Grr…
Vince: Now, UUUUMMMMAAAGGGAAA faces Jeff Hardy for the Intercontinental Title.
Jeff Hardy: Ummm…excuse me? You want me to face this monster?
Umaga: That hurts when you say that. I have feelings too. I am not a monster. I am just like you. Have you no heart? Have you no conscience? Do you think its funny when you call me names.
Jeff Hardy: Wha?
Umaga: Oh sorry
UUUUMMMMAAAGGGAAA: GRRR!!!
::The winner and NEEWWW Intercontinental Champion! UUUUMMMMAAAGGGAAA::
Vince: Thumbs upskies!

Carlito: Thank you Flair for beating my ass. It rejuvenated me. I have deleted my MySpace account.
Flair: Anytime, boy. WOOO!
Carlito: So, it looks like we are facing Dick Murdoch & Dick Slater.
Flair: No, its Trevor Murdoch & Lance Cade. WOOO!! 
Carlito: Meh, who gives a rats ass who they are. We’ll destroy them.
Flair: Touché. WOOO!
::Flair & Carlito win::

HBK: Buy my DVD!
Cena: No, buy mine!
Big Dick Johnson: Hey guys!
::HBK kicks the Dick::

Edge: Hey RVD, let me win.
RVD: No, I’d like to win
Edge: Oh, come on!
RVD: Well, if you put it that way…
::Edge wins::

Ring Crew: Hi, we suck at rolling out a carpet!
Melina: Hey, I want win the title, Mickie.
Mickie James: You fucked up 7 Spots last week!
Melina: Yeah, and?
Mickie James: Well, I guess you have a point
::The winner and NEEWW Women’s Champion… Melina!::

Todd Pettengill Jr.: So Mickie, can I have a word?
Mickie James: No
Todd Pettengill Jr: So Mickie, can I have a word?
Mickie James: STFU! ::slaps Todd::
Todd Pettengill Jr: There’s no love for The Todd!

Robbie: I’M ROBBIE!!!
Rory: Well crap, its a handicap match. We should be shoe-ins. Who’s our opponent?
Great Khali: Ghjhj gjifj sfkdjs!
Rory: Apparently that SHOE is going IN up our asses…
Robbie: I’M ROBBIE!!!!
::Great Khali wins… DUH!::

::Mister Perfect gets inducted in the Hall of Fame. WOO HOO!::

Randy Orton: Tonight Cena, you shall shed TONS OF BLOOD! TONS OF BLOOD!
John Cena: Dude, you’re a dumbass
Randy Orton: Ummm… No, I’m not, smart ass!
John Cena: So you do admit that I’m smarter than you?
Randy Orton: WHAT?!
John Cena: Sorry,  I knew that one would go over your head.
Randy Orton: What about my head?!
John Cena: Nevermind
Edge: Okay, here to stop the embarrassment.
::No contest::
Randy Orton: Hey! Why don’t we do something to him… SOMETHING BAD! Something that will shed TONS OF BLOOD!
Edge: How about a fire?
Randy Orton: Nah, that doesn’t shed blood
Edge: Uhh…yeah… How about a 2 by 4 to the head?
Randy Orton: What are we? Chainsaw Jim Duggan?
Edge: Riiigghhtt… ummm… conchairto?
Randy Orton: There’s an original idea!
HBK: Oh dear god… STOP THE MADNESS
::HBK cleans house::

::credits roll::

• First of all, great call on inducting Curt Hennig going into the Hall of Fame!
   
• Wow, I call that one with Umaga being Vince’s representative? I think Foley might be Trump’s because he’s putting out a “controversial” book. Plus, last time we saw him, he was kissing Vince’s ass. We know Umaga can do bloody brawls very well as we saw with the Last Standing Match… so this would be a decent match!
   
• How do we reward one shitty-ass match from Melina? All logic definitely points to giving her the damn Woman’s title! Not that there is really much of a division anymore. However, big props to Todd getting slapped for not getting the point. It looked like he was going to cry. I, of course, started laughing after his eyes teared up. Wuss!