I will admit that I phoned this one in. Just not feeling it. Sorry, but there should be some good moments, hopefully. That’s why I didn’t pull the trigger on all of my planned character changes, but you do see some hints there.

Cena: Can I trust you?
HBK: What do you think?
Coach: Hey guys, how about an impossible task just to brighten up the evening?
Cena: Sure, why not?
HBK: Sounds good.

Flair: Hey Carlito, thanks for fixing my computer last week!
Carlito: Just remember not to dl so much porn next time
Flair: Hey, she was getting ready to ride Space Mountain. WOOO!
Randy Orton: Hey! I thought you said you were out of town! You were supposed to fix my computer!
Carlito: Dude, I keep telling you that all you need to do is like press the power button, man.
Randy Orton:  Power button?! I’m sorry, but I don’t know anything about computers!
Flair: WOOO!!
Randy Orton: You will pay for that Flair!
::Orton pins Flair::
Carlito: Dude, what did you do that for?
Randy Orton: Because his computer works! Mine doesn’t! I can’t play my Pogo!
Carlito: You mean Pogo.com? Don’t like old people play there?
Randy Orton: AHHH!
::Orton pins Carlito::

Chris Masters: I am here for one reason! I will let you guess because you NEVER will. Are you ready? A MASTERLOCK CHALLENGE! Now, who can I face? How about you Lillian? I bet I could cook you to simmer…
Lillian Garcia: Chris, I took the Masterlock Challenge at that Hotel Room in San Berndino…and let me tell you guys, wha…
Chris Masters: HOW ABOUT SOMEBODY ELSE!
Super Crazy: Oil of olay! Viva Las Vegas!
Audience: Well, that was fucking pointless…

Edge: Orton, I hate to break to you Pogo-Man, but you will lose at Rassle Mania, eh!
Randy Orton: Your face is Rassle Mania!
Edge: ???

::The Rock appears on the TitanTron and HOLY FUCK::

Cena: Cool, so who are we facing it the gauntlet?
HBK: Well…
World’s Greatest Tag Team: We’re great!
::HBK/Cena win::
West Texas Rangers: We’re rednecks!
::HBK/Cena win::
STEEL CAGE: I’m lowering
::commercial break comes in::
Joey Mercury: Dude! how did we get here in this cage?
Johnny Nitro: Hehe he… I don’t know man. Last thing I was saw was that damn Dead Silence movie trailer again… Damn that puppet is freaky. Giggity Giggity! ALLLRIGHT!
HBK: Wait, can you say that again?
Johnny Nitro: Say what? Giggity Giggity!
HBK: THIS MAN IS POSSESSED BY A DEMON! We must excise the demon!
::HBK/Cena win::

Mick Foley: I have a book! I write about wrestlers!
Ashley: I’m in a magazine! I get naked in it!
Ron Simmons: DAMN!

Jeff Hardy: Things haven’t been the same since I lost my Intercontinental Title. WHY! OH WHYYYY!! ::stars crying::
Edge: Quit your cryin, woman! Now… this city is Washington, DC. Since I’ve suddenly and randomly became a spokesman for racial equality, I hate the fact your football team is Washington Red Skins! It is an insult to Indians everywhere! So, here’s an Indian!
Great Khali: Grjkrejkr!
Jeff Hardy: WHY OH WHHHYYY! MY NAILS!!!
Kane: Hey! Shut you whiny EMO bitch! Or I will take my big rusty hook to your head! SAME WITH YOU KHALI!

::Mr. Fuji will be inducted in the Hall of Fame. YES!!!!::

Melina: So, who wants to be killed this week?
Torrie: I’m not doing much of anything lately…  KILL ME!
::Melina wins::
 

Vinny: Watch me as I trip over my own fucking feet! I will shave Donald Trump’s head bald! Now, for my representative in that match I have forced you all to care about… SHRIVELED UP MONKEY PENIS!
Shriveled Up Monkey Penis: Grr… Watch me as I officially hate The Rock.
Vinny: Now… where is that no good Donald Trump! I will shave your head bald!
::Donald Trump heads to the ring with Silicone and Collagen as either the crowd really chants his name or its piped in::
Donald Trump: Watch me as I cut a lame repetitive promo… HERE IS MY MAN! BOBBY LINDSEY!
Bobby Lashley: Grr…Watch me as my entrance is awesome!
Vinny: Okay, your head will be shaved bald! Now, for the refereee…Stone Cold Steve Austin.
Steve Austin: Watch me as I promo circles around all of your asses! Now where’s my beer?! I feel like beating on a woman!
Donald Trump: Hey Vince! Lets fight
Vinny: Sure! We all know I will shave your head bald!
Donald Trump: Shut up already with the damn bald talk!
::Donald Trump shoves Vinny on his ass…HA HA!::

• You know, I’d love to see Kane and Khali face each other in a “Big Rusty Hook Match.” You can’t tell me that wouldn’t be a little entertaining.
   
• I thought Mister Fuji was dead. Apparently I was wrong! Another awesome Hall of Fame induction!
   
• Undertaker still has the best “What!” comeback. “Say what! if you have sex with your sister!”
   
• From this point forward, Umaga shall be known as Shriveled Up Monkey Penis. THANK YOU ROCK FOR STILL KICKING ASS!
   
• The one thing this damn billionaire angle has done is that the it is helping the fans give a crap about Bobby Lashley. Now will he sustain it Post-Mania? On another note, is it just me or does Donald Trump sound “hot for Bobby Lindsey” every time he talks about him? Pretty much, the whole segment outside of Austin was HORRIBLE.
   
• Next week, we should have a “Shave head bald” count to see how many times that damn phrase or any of its variants is uttered on Raw.