Yeah, I was dealing with the visitation today, so obviously other things are on my mind, but I think I got a few good jokes in there.

---

JR: By gawd! Boomer sooner! Wrestlemania Reversal Night!
JBL: Hey, have you guys forgotten?
HBK: Forgot what?
JBL: Hello! This would be my big coming out of retirement match! They should save this for a Pay-Per View!
HBK: I don’t think so! ::HBK superkicks JBL::

Randy Orton: I’m angry!
Edge: I’m angry!

 

Chris Masters: Ahoy! Who is ready to be served with my MASTERLOCK?! ARGH! MATEY!
Lashley: How about me?
Chris Masters: Sure! PIECE OF CAKE!
::LASHLEY FUCKING WINS::
Vince Russo: What the hell?
Everybody With a Brain: Wait… wha… now? But hey! At least the damn thing is over!

Vince McMahon: I will shave Donald BAAAALLLLDD!!!!!!!!
Lashley: …
Maria: Leik! Hi!
Vince McMahon: Man, I want to rape you…
Eugene: HI! Do you like tea?
Vince McMahon: No! You will fight Shriveled Monkey Penis tonight!

JR: By gawd! Last chance Battle Royal! Money in the Bank!
Val Venis: Sweet! Paycheck!
Ric Flair: WOO! I WIN!
Edge: SUCKER!
::Edge wins::

Vince: I will shave Donald BAAAALLLLDD!!!!!!!! Now, here is Shriveled Up Monkey Penis!
Shriveled Up Monkey Penis: Grrr…
Eugene: Why is my jacket still green?
::Shriveled Up Monkey Penis wins::
Vince: Eugene! I will now… CUT YOUR HAIR!
Eugene: Sweet! I’ve been meaning to get a haircut for two years!
Vince: Now lets shave him BAAAALLLLDD!!!!!!!… oh yeah… lets shave him. Tie him down. Oh yeah baby! Who’s your daddy?! WHO IS YOUR DADDY?! Tell me that you are a slut! Tell me that you are a slut! Are you daddy’s fucktoy? Oh yeah! Yeeahh… Yeahhh.. WAAAARRRRGGHHHH!!!WAGH… wagh.. phew.. .yeah…. Well, its been real, Eugene
::Eugene’s head is shaved::

Collagen: I hate Melina!
Melina: I hate you! You get naked!
Collagen: I hate you! You fuck a lot of people!
Melina: I hate you! Lets get naked!
Jerry Lawler: Bra and panties! HLA! Bra and panties! Puppies!
Melina: I will take off your clothes as I wrestle my best match ever… which isn’t saying much.
::Melina wins::
Ashley: You are going down!
The Great Khali: GJFK! SDJKFSK!
Everybody: You’ve gotta be kidding me.
Jerry Lawler: Hey, Khali!

JR: BY GAWD! BBQ SAUCE! Damn Jezebel! Introducing my broadcast partner, Todd Pettingill II! 2 dollar steaks!
Todd Pettingill II: …

Jeff Hardy: Should’ve done something but I’ve done it enough! By the way your hands were shaking! Rather waste some time with you!
Randy Orton: WHAT ON EARTH ARE YOU DOING?!
Jeff Hardy: Just singing The Used
Randy Orton: Who’s used?
Jeff Hardy: No… the band! The Used
Randy Orton: The Band is pretty good old school stuff!
Jeff Hardy: No… now look what you did! You made me break a nail! I just had these done two days ago!
Edge: Oh god! Don’t encourage him!
::No contest::

Vince: I’m facing Bobby Lashley next week!
Coach: You can’t beat him
Vince: Can too!
Coach: Can not!
Vince: Can too!
Coach:: Can too times infinity!
Vince: Can too times infinity plus 1!
Coach: DAMMIT!

Chris Benoit: I’m Canadian…
John Cena: Main event time!
::Cena wins::
JBL: You two… next week, will face Batista & Undertaker!
::Lights go dark and credits interupt randomly::

---

RJ45’s Perspective:

• Eugene Nick Dinsmore looks better bald. Hey, could he be changing gimmicks soon?
   
• Wow, I love how Todd just randomly announced Benoit vs. MVP at Mania… and they didn’t even cover it in the card rundown. Oh yeah! WWE Rocks!
   
• Come on guys! 13 days left to slap together the rest of the card! 8 matches does not a 4 hour show make!