Coach: Here comes the bait & switch… but it isn’t! No DQ between Vince & Lashley tonight!
Stone Cold: What! What! What! What! What! What!
Coach: Bald… is beautiful!
:::Stone Cold gives Coach the Stunner!::

Limo Driver: Beep! Beep!
Stone Cold: WHAT!
Vince: Yyoooou’rrreee fiiirreeedd!

Melina: I have people to kill this week! …and this Sunday, whoever is left will be the Lumberjack…err.. Jills…
Jillian Hall: Hey! How did I get here?
Victoria: …
Ashley: I ask myself that same question…
Torrie: Where did my puppy go?
Candice: People can see the bottom of my puppies…
Jerry Lawler: PUPPIES!!!
Ashley: Watch me as I ass up a Victory Roll!
::The Playboy Bunnies win::

CM Punk: Holy crap! I’m on Raw, in my hometown, AND I have the best entrance theme ever! Nothing can ruin this moment!
Kenny: Enough is enough and its time for a change!
CM Punk: Well, there went that moment.
::CM Punk wins::
Edge: Hey Punky! I’m going to have Piper’s Pit in just a sec!

Piper’s Pit:
Edge: So, what do you guys have to say for yourselves?
Matt Hardy: Your girlfriend’s a ho
King Booker: I will face seven mighty foes!
Fit Finlay: Diarrhea!
Randy Orton: Your mom goes to college!
Kennedy: MMIIIIISSSTTTEERRR!!!
Jeff Hardy: I like humping the air.
CM Punk: I’m addicted to nothing!
Edge: That it! Lets fight!
::They all brawl::

Maria: Liek… what are you going to say?
John Cena: Watch me as I cut my best damn promo EVER!

Vince McMahon: When am I going to lose this goofy-ass strut?
Lashley: Hmmm… Vince McMahon? No DQ Match? Nothing can go wrong here!
West Texas Rangers: Guess again!
Chris Masters: YOU BROKE MY MASTERLOCK!
Johnny Nitro: Giggity! Giggity!
Shriveled Up Monkey Penis: Grr…
::Vince McMahon “wins”::
JR: By gawd! Boomer sooner! Bald headed shaved! Wrestlemania 6 days! Physical Dissection! LINDSEY! LINDSEY! LINDSEY! Has been broken in half!

Kennedy: MIIISTTERRR! KENNNEEEDDYY!!!
Randy Orton: Wait a minute… where’s Edge?
Kennedy: Our activist is at a gay rights march…
Randy Orton: WHY WOULD HE DO THAT?! WHY?!
Kennedy: Because he’s an activist… what are you? A fucking dumbass!
Jeff Hardy: Don’t ask him questions/encourage him… ::humps a water buffalo::
Matt Hardy: Hey, do you guys remember when I had Mattitude?
Shannon Moore: Oh dear god, weren’t those the fucking days? ::fixes his Mohawk::::
::Orton & Kennedy win::

JR gets inducted in the Hall of Fame. Wow…

Great Khali: gjkjk! sjdkf!
Ric Flair: I’m all out of woos…
::No contest::
Kane: Rusty hook! Rusty hook!

HBK: I talk a lot!

John Cena: Wrestlemania… gosh… this is just… so… I LOVE YOU GUYS!
Crowd: BOOO!!!
HBK: Dude, you know I am going to turn on you at the end of this match?
John Cena: You wouldn’t… we’re tag team champs man! We’re bros!
Crowd: BOOO!!!
HBK: Sure, believe whatever you want to…
Batista: I remember when I was great!
The Undertaker: Ha! I’m still great! ::people stare at him:: Oh.. yeah, breaking character, sorry… … REEESSST IINN PPEEAAACCEEE!
Batista: Lets fight
Cena: GUYS! We’re your opponents. Silly goose!
Crowd: BOOO!!!
HBK: Hey Cena!
Cena: What?
::HBK superkicks Cena::
Crowd: Yay!!!
::Batista & Undertaker win::

Commercial break

JR: By gawd! Cena! HBK! Wrestlemania! Goodnight everybody!

::Credits roll::

• Rusty hook! Rusty hook! Rusty hook! YEAH!
   
• Am I sensing a repeat of last year for Cena with Cena getting booed out of the building… AGAIN? Either that or Chicago must REALLY FUCKING HATE THIS GUY.
   
• I think with interviews like what John Cena cut tonight… he can cut interviews as good as Ric Flair did back in his best days and/or Shawn Michaels.
   
• Don’t you like it how they haven’t played up that HBK vs. Cena will be “For the First Time in Wrestlemania History… Tag Team Champions collide for the World Title.” Little things like that…
   
• I know I have said this over and over again…but by gawd, this Hall of Fame Class is probably our best, all around…. I dare you to compare the previous ones to Dusty Rhodes, Mister Perfect, Jerry Lawler, Nick Bockwinkle, Mister Fuji, The Sheik, The Samoans, and Jim Ross.
   
• That last commercial break was relatively pointless.
   
• If it looks like I missed the ending to Hardyz/Orton-Kennedy… its because I did.
   
• Wow… the lack of matches and even the lack of effort to add matches for this Sunday just astonishes me. So far, no Johnny Nitro (no Joey Mercury anymore, apparently), Chris Masters, Kenny Dysktra, Ric Flair, Carlito, Brian Kendrick, Paul London, Cryme Tyme, World’s Greatest Tag Team, Chavo Guerrero, Gregory Helms, and Super Crazy. That’s at least covering the individuals who I think at least earned a spot. At least they covered all of the divas in one segment pretty nice there. Maybe a Tag Team Battle Royal could fix this, at the very least.

RJ45’s Somewhat Attention Deficit Disorder Induced Unofficial “Shave Head Bald” Count: 26