This Sunday, WWE hosts their annual Backlash. Generally, this Pay-Per View is decent.

WWE also realized that the brand extension was stupid to begin with and is slowly phasing it out. To begin, now all Pay-Per Views host all three “brands”…which can only benefit ECW, if nothing else.

Women’s Championship
In Ring Liability vs. The Smoking Hot Mickie James 

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The Story Thus Far: For no real good reason whatsoever, WWE gave Melina the title. Of course, they never really saw her wrestle before, obviously. After nearly killing off the rest of the Women’s Division, WWE will give the title back to their best female wrestler on the roster… and hey, she’s hot too! We’re talking about Mickie James!

Predicted Match Length: 6 minutes

Predicted Winner: Mickie James

United States Championship

Chris Benoit vs. MVP

The Story Thus Far: No one could believe that Benoit & MVP actually put on some damn good matches! Seeing the potential in a Match of the Year Candidate, they will have Benoit/MVP III this Sunday! Maybe they will get more than 10 minutes to do some magic?

Predicted Match Length: 18 minutes

Predicted Winner: MVP

World Tag Team Championship

The Hardy Boyz vs. Greg “the Hammer” Valentine & Constipated Man

The Story Thus Far: Ummm… there is no story.

Predicted Match Length: 7 minutes

Predicted Winners: The Hardy Boyz

World Championship & World Tanning Championship
Last Man Standing

Batista vs. The Undertaker

The Story Thus Far: Batista has an impressive tan. Undertaker, never to be outdone, hit the tanning bed for the first time in 90 years and now he has a good tan. They had a match at Wrestlemania that actually turned out to be really damn good. Now, they fight in a rematch in a Last Man Standing Match

Predicted Match Length: 23 minutes

Predicted Winner: The Undertaker

3 on 1 Handicap Match for ECW Championship

Bobby Lindsey vs. 1920s Gangster, Dancin’ Fool, and Shriveled Monkey Penis

The Story Thus Far: Vince McMahon was embarrassed when his head was shaved bald. Him and no hair? What the hell, I mean seriously… his head was SHAVED BALD. Did you hear me? SHAVED BALD!

However, in the end, he did get a bad ass hat, and now takes on his new persona… The 1920s Gangtser! He is joined by his son… The Dancin’ Fool, and Shriveled Monkey Penis. Who will all attempt to take the ECW World Championship away from Lashley! Hey, if Tito Santana can be the ECW World Champion, so can Vince McMahon!

Predicted Match Length: 16 minutes

Predicted Winner: Lashley

WWE Championship
Fatal Four-Way
BOO! Vs. Reverend HBK vs. Rated T for Teen vs. Banned in Europe

The Story Thus Far: John Cena won at Wrestlemania, but he wasn’t the better man as per Shawn Michaels’s memo. Edge thinks he deserves a 40^th chance and winning the world title, and we couldn’t clearly understand Randy Orton’s intentions because he can’t express himself worth a damn.

Predicted Match Length: 45 minutes

Predicted Winner: John Cena

Okay, now we are actually serious. Here is what to look out for

• Look for Batista/Undertaker to totally blow and not even get close to living up to their first match. However, Kennedy just might cash in his Money in the Bank… Bank contract and win the title.
• Chris Benoit vs. MVP just might be match of the night if they get more than 10 minutes to build into something good.
• Look for Hardyz vs. Rednecks to be no more than 7 minutes, tops.
• Expect Lashley vs. The Three Musketeers to be a huge clusterfuck. Look out for lots of outside interference including from Santino Marella, Estrada, and perhaps some other McMahons?
• Look for Mickie James to win the title and for the ending to be sudden and “WTF? Is that it?” like most Women’s Matches.
• The Fatal Four Way will be a lot of fun. Everyone will cheer on HBK, but John Cena will win again anyway.
• Only six matches? Look for another one getting added at the last second.