Sorry this is a day late. I forgot to send it to my work email and I was too tired to remember to post this Monday Night. I’m alsxo on auto-pilot this week… sugar detox and what not. So, sorry if this sucks…

John Cena: Khali, you took my belt. I’m upset.
Some Random Indian: I’m Khali’s translator…
Audience: Thank god!
Great Khali: Ijdkfdj lkfjkdjike chedkfjkjse!
Some Random Indian: He likes cheese!
Great Khali: Yojfdkjfu wankfdjkjt somdjkfkje. Comdjksjfke gejkjkjt somkjkdjkdje!
Some Random Indian: You want some. Come get some!
::John Cena gets his ass kicked::

Trevor Murdoch: I’m constipated!
Jeff Hardy: Uhh… hi.
Matt Hardy: I’m going to win the world title. Yipee!
Jeff Hardy: Ummm… no. That’s never happening.
Matt Hardy: But with the power of my fans, we can accomplish
Jeff Hardy : Nothing!
Trevor Murdoch: Uhh…. guys, match!
::Jeff Hardy wins::
Trevor Murdoch: Lance Cade and I will shake your hands to gain your trust over the course of the next couple of weeks before we inevitably turn on you!  

Snitsky: Pointless vignette!

Vince: Are you ready?!
Shane: I was born ready!
Coach: I’m surgically enhanced to be ready!
Shriveled Monkey Penis: Grr…

Santino Marella: I am so happy to be here!
Chris Masters: Can anyone tell me why I am the sacrificial lamb?
::Santino Marella wins::

Melina: I’m not wrestling. But I am talking…
Candice Michelle: Did my boobs get bigger?
Victoria: Why didn’t I get an entrance?
::Candice Michelle wins::

Edge: How about some pyro overkill?
Audience: MY EARS!
Edge: Last week was great!
Last Week: It’s true! It’s true!
Edge: I wanted last great match, but I am just going to leave… because I am the only WWE Superstar with a brain!
HBK: You suck Edge! I want you in a match!
Edge: You’re on!

Lashley: I am here…
Shane McMahon: Quit hitting yourself Lashley! Quit hitting yourself Lashley! Quit hitting yourself Lashley! Quit hitting yourself Lashley! Lashley and Umaga… sitting in a tree! K I S S I N G! First comes love. Second comes marriage. Third comes a baby in a baby carriage. That’s not all! That’s not all! The baby is drinking alcohol! Quit hitting yourself Lashley! Quit hitting yourself Lashley! Quit hitting yourself Lashley! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

Vince McMahon: Can’t touch this!
Shane McMahon: Stop! Hammer time!
Shriveled Monkey Penis: Grr… Uhh… too legit to quit?
Coach: I will beat Lashley!
Lashley: Like Vinnie’s song says! No chance in hell!
::Lashley wins::
Shane McMahon: Physically provoking you!
Shriveled Monkey Penis: Butt bomb!
Lashley: You know… someone really needs to dodge this fucking move already! ::does::
Vince McMahon: DOUBLE WAMMY!

Carlito: I am a heel!
Val Venis: Why haven’t I been fired yet?!
::Carlito wins::
Ric Flair: Its arse-kicking time!

HBK: Tonight… Edge’s time to die
Randy Orton: I can beat you
HBK: Okay…how about Sunday?
Randy Orton: Are you challenging me to a match on Sunday?!
HBK: No, I am asking you for a date. Here’s your sign!
Randy Orton: Why does everyone keep on saying that?!

Timbland: Look at all of this booty!

Edge: Hurray! I am the champion of the world!
HBK: Lets have a MOTYC with the 15 minutes we have!
Edge: Sounds good!
HBK: Hey, you know how you just won the title and everything?
Edge: Yeah?
::HBK wins::
Edge: What the fuck?!
Randy Orton: I was just informed that the WWE locker room is ripping off of BIll Engvall’s Here’s Your Sign routine! Implying that I am stupid and should be carrying a sign that says so! NOW YOU SHALL PAY MICHAELS!
::Orton beats the crap out of HBK::

• Candice Michelle is rapidly becoming… well… an actual wrestler. Could she be the next Trish Stratus? ie. From model to decent wrestler?
   
• Okay, someone finally got the memo on Great Khali needing a manager! Thank god!
   
• Did Edge imply that he could have had a great match with Great Khali?
   
• Is it just me or did Shane McMahon seem like a little kid in his segment?
   
• With all of the roster cuts, why does Val Venis still have a fucking job?!