Doing this while JUST getting passed a migraine. I’m over it… but now I am just recovering from the energy used on suffering. Yay!

Papa Roach: Damn our song kicks ass!

Jerry Lawler: Bikini Beach Blast Battle Royal! Puppies! Puppies! Puppies!
Candice Michelle: I’m over!
Mickie James: I’m bouncy!
Maria: I’m super duper hot!
Jillian: I can’t sing! 
Kelly Kelly: I can’t dance!
Brooke: The only thing about me…
Layla El: Is the way I walk!
Michelle McCool: I am Stacy Keibler without the charisma!
Kristal: I’m Affirmative Action!
Melina: I can’t wrestle!
Action: Hurray for boobies!
::Michelle McCool wins?::
Writer #1: Wha…wait a minute! That makes no sense! Wasn’t Candice Michelle on her journey to the woman’s title. Who is writing this shit?
Vince Russo: I swear! I don’t even work for the guys!

Shane McMahon: Draft coming up. 2 weeks! Everyone is in… except for Vince. Vince McMahon never leaves.
Audience: Tell me about it.
Shane McMahon: It will be a tri-branded, show.. remarkably not much different from the show we host right now! Also… I am going to announce an already announced match for tonight!

Matt Hardy: Hey, maybe I will get drafted to RAW.
Jeff Hardy: Probably not, though.
Trevor Murdoch: I’M CONSTIPATED!
Lance Cade: Don’t call me Garrison!
World’s Greatest Jobber Team: We wish Kurt were here…
Johnny Nitro: Meet my random new tag parter!
Kenny Dyke: I like me some road kill!
::Hardy Boyz & Rednecks win::
Shelton Benjamin: Hey… this Sunday, I hear we are having a Pay-Per View!
Charlie Haas: We are?
Jeff Hardy: Yeah, its on the schedule, believe it or not…
Matt Hardy: Wow… well, I guess they need to book the Pay-Per View then!
Shelton Benjamin: So… to sell this thing to the internet fans. We should have a match
Jeff Hardy: Ohh.. I bet they’d go masturbate right now if we make it a ladder match!
Charlie Haas: That is true!
Matt Hardy: Lets book it!
Trevor Murdoch: UHh… hey guys… belly flop
Lance Cade: Yeah, pay no attention to us. We’re not here…

Saturday Night’s Main Event: Hey! Don’t forget me! This Saturday!
Average WWE Fan: You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me! I don’t have time for all of this shit!

Todd Grisham: Are you still not afraid of Khali
John Cena: I ought to smack you in the face!

Maria: Leik! Do you have an accent Santino?
Santino Marella: You have boobs!
Maria: LOL!
Randy Orton: RVD talked shit about me on MySpace! Its pay back time!

RVD: I can’t wait till my fucking contract is up!
Randy Orton: Till then, enjoy jobbing to everyone! Oh… and here is a fake concussion!
::Randy Orton wins by ref decision::

Ric Flair: Woo! I am still a ladies man!
Torrie Wilson: I have nothing to do!
Carlito: God, someone get me some new music!
Victoria: Yeah, this sucks worse than my music.
::Carlito & Victoria wins::
JR: BY GAWD! BOOMER SOONER! That Carlito is a no good son of a bitch! FRUITY FRUITY SKITTLES!

Great Khali: Umagjkjka! Yojkju mjkjy partnejkjkjr!
Shriveled Monkey Penis: Grr! Grr! Grr!
Great Khali: Dijkjkjke! Dijkjke!
Shriveled Monkey Penis: Grr! Grr! Grr!
Shane McMahon: STOP THE MADNESS!

Maria: Leik, let’s all have an orgy!
Chris Masters: Even though my Master Lock has already been broken, I am still going to host these retarded Master Lock Challenges. So Santino Marella! You are next!
Santino Marella Well, I don’t accept your challenge, but I will kick your ass anyway!

Shriveled Monkey Penis: Grrr!
Great Khali: Letkjks gekjkjt jiggkjkjy wijkjt ijkjkt!
Shane McMahon: Money money money money money!
Lashley: Why isn’t this Monday Night Lashley like last week?
John Cena: Because this week it is Monday Night Cena!
Crowd: Lets go Cena! Cena sucks!
::Team Speech Impediment wins::

• Okay, a draft is coming up? In the past, 5 went to each brand. Going by that train of thought, here are my preliminary predictions:

  RAW: Lashley, MVP, Michelle McCool, Snitsky, and Matt Hardy
  ECW:  Rey Mysterio, Fit Finlay, Deuce, Domino, & Cherry.
  SmackDown:  CM Punk, Chris Masters, Johnny Nitro, Santino Marella, and Torrie Wilson

  My not-so-serious predictions were Cherry and Torrie Wilson.

  The rest, I can make convincing arguments for. I believe secondary titles will switch shows. ECW is getting tag belts because tag team matches is the only way they can get all of the roster in on a 1 hour show. Since Smackdown’s titles are closed to being dead and the singles roster is depleted, time to move them to ECW. I’d really like to see Kendrick & London also jump ship to RAW, as well.

  Lashley & Matt Hardy might of as well move to RAW anyway. Michelle McCool is showing signs of being decent so they can move her to the Woman’s Divsiion. Snitsky, I think, is John Cena’s next planned monster for him to take down till Triple H comes back. Rey Mysterio is coming back soon, and he left SmackDown, so his comeback would be well suited for this draft!

  CM Punk, Johnny Nitro, Chris Masters would really help flesh out the upper mid-card/main event division on SmackDown that was just destroyed by injuries. They have already set the scene for a Masters/Marella feud when they get there. Johnny Nitro is basically doing nothing right now, anyway. CM Punk is another “Next Big Thing” and would really flesh out the face side on the main event for SmackDown till Kennedy comes back.

  Fit Finlay would be a great fit for ECW (No pun intended). We could see some more hardcore matches involving a real life tough guy there.
   

• It looks like Saturday Night’s Main Event’s card was announced in a commercial. I have a question… DID ANYBODY CATCH IT?! Sheesh, this Saturday is SNME. Sunday is ONS. Then we have a pointless week of WWE Programming because it will all change the following week with the draft!

That is it! I might try to do a SNME Abridged to make it up to you for this migraine induced edition. So I MIGHT see you then!

RJ45