Michael Cole: Ummm… Boomer sooner?

John Cena: WHY ARE YOU ALL BOOING ME?! WHAT DID I DO TO YOU?!
Ashley Massaro: Don’t ask me, I don’t know
Great Khali: Donjkjkjt asjkjjhhek mhjhe. Ijkkj donjkjt knokjkjw!
::Great Khali wins::
Some Random Indian: For god sakes, somebody get me off the microphone!

Vince McMahon: I masturbate in front of the mirror!
Lashley: Uhhh…. wow… okay, that confession was unnecessary. Especially since we are about to have a fucking arm wrestling match and all and we have to hold hands.

Krystal: Hey Lashley
Lashley: Hey sistah. You lookin’ fine. Whatch’yz doin’ after the show?.
Krystal: Getting my groove on with Teddy Long.

Lashley: …
Vince McMahon: You know what. I am not going to do this. So, your opponent is Mizark Henry!
Krystal: Hey Mark!
Mark Henry: Hey sistah. You lookin’ fine. Whatch’yz doin’ after the show?.
Krystal: Getting my groove on with Teddy Long.
Mark Henry: …
Lashley: Hey, I tried macking on her too. Time to have our arm wrestling contest!
Mark Henry: Screw that, lets have a wrestling match!
Vince McMahon: No arm wrestling contest? We can’t have TWO bait and switches in one segment!!!
::Vince hits Lashley with chair::

Maria: Hi, I have boobs…
Edge: I am, therefore, I think I am!

Torrie Wilson: Okay, why did I get stuck with this ring announcing gig?
Lillian Garcia: That was what I was wondering!
Batista: I have one bad ass tan
Chris Benoit: I am missing one bad ass tooth!
MVP: I have bad ass unusually white teeth!
Edge: I have a bad ass jaw!
::Chris Benoit & Batista wins::

Fit Finlay: Lets get our fight on!
Hornswoggle: All them little bastards are after me Lucky Charms!
Boogeyman: I eat worms.
Mini-Me: I also eat worms
::No contest::

Extreme Expose: We are extreme expose!
Layla: I can dance!
Brooke: I am not too bad either
Kelly Kelly: I don’t belong on a dance team….
Hornswoggle: Time to get some big people pussy.
Little Boogey: Sounds good… uhh… how do we do that?
Hornswoggle: Lets do that old game people played in grade school where kids always got hurt and broke bones, and other crap.
Little Boogey: SWEET!
Brooke: Uhhh… what?
Layla: ….

Kane: I can’t believe I am even here. I remember the good old day of when I was World Champion
Doink the Fucking Clown: I CAN’T BELIEVE I AM HERE..Didn’t I, like, die?
Eugene: Super-Man!
Kevin Thorne: Oh well, I guess I could be Mordecai again..
Viscera: Hey, I main-evented Summerslam and won King of the Ring. Now, I am just lucky to be employed….
Shriveled Monkey Penis: Grrr….
Doink the Fucking Clown:  I’m such a clown! Look at my mildly funny shanigans!
Eugene: Oooo… shiny.
Kane: God, someone kill me. You know what… time to end the madness!
::Kane, Doink the Fucking Clown, and Eugene win::

• Okay, why can’t Armondo Alejandro Estrada just pretend to know Hindii and be Khali’s translator? Not like it fucking matters to us whether his translator is native of India, just as long as he kicks ass on the microphone….which Estrada pwns the mic.
• I think Vince should maybe grown his hair a couple centimeters longer and keep it at that length. It compliments him better than his previous freaky “all combed back” style and obviously better than the “Dented Bald Head” phase. Still, too bad he doesn’t have the 1920’s Gangsta hat anymore.
   
• You know, they had a week to produce the show, and I will give WWE credit for not editing out John Cena’s boos or the “You Screwed Bret” chant,. By the way, Canada, that happened 10 years ago. Get over it!
• There is a reason why Lillian Garcia is a ring announcer, and it all isn’t JUST because of her looks. She has the voice for it. Some of the divas were okay, but some, like Torrie Wilson, were like fingernails down a chalkboard.
• This is the first time I have ever actually watched Extreme Expose dance. You know, if they insist of creating Nitro Girls II, at least make sure all of them can fucking dance. Kelly Kelly dancing reminds you of that drunk chick at the night club. Sure, you can’t keep your eyes off of her, but that doesn’t mean she belongs on an actual dance team.
• Wow… this show started off decent and then went to crapfset in a hurry. Seriously guys, Doink the Fucking Clown? You couldn’t come up with anything better than Doink the Fucking Clown? You are NBC replacing Saturday Night Live. You want to capture whatever little audience you have and have them watch Raw, ECW, and Smackdown, and you try to win them over with Doink the Fucking Clown?!

Till Monday!

RJ45