Dr. Frankenstein: HE’S ALIVE! HE’S ALLIIIIIVVVEE!!!
Mr. McMahon: Yes… yes, I am. In fact, I staged my own death for the hell of it. You know, to shake things up for a couple of years. But then Chris Benoit died I changed my mind. However, tonight I will dig my grave deeper by taunting Congress, the media, and my family. Oh yeah, WWE Roster Minus Main Eventers, you are now all fighting for a position I should have filled 2 years ago… GENERAL MANAGER!
WWE RAW Roster Minus Main Eventers: SWEET!Val Venis: I think I should win. I am tired of being delegated to Heat! Its not even on TV anymore!
The Sandman: I think I should win. Vince Mr. McMahon likes me and I am over-the-hill anyway.
Hacksnort Jim Doogan: I think I should win because I believe in USA. HOOOO!!!!
Umaga: GRRR!!!
William Regal: Well, you all present convincing arguments, but I spent a fortune on my hair. I need some extra cash, so I AM the General Manager of RAW!
Shelton Benjamin: Wait, since when can he make that decision?
William Regal: Because I am the William Regal, BITCH!
:: The William Regal, BITCH! wins ::

Dr. Frankenstein: HE’S ALIVE! HE’S ALLIIIIIVVVEE!!!
Mr. McMahon: Yes… yes, I am. In fact, I staged my own death for the hell of it. You know, to shake things up for a couple of years. But then Chris Benoit died I changed my mind. However, tonight I will dig my grave deeper by taunting Congress, the media, and my family. Oh yeah, WWE Roster Minus Main Eventers, you are now all fighting for a position I should have filled 2 years ago… GENERAL MANAGER!
WWE RAW Roster Minus Main Eventers: SWEET!

Val Venis: I think I should win. I am tired of being delegated to Heat! Its not even on TV anymore!
The Sandman: I think I should win. Vince Mr. McMahon likes me and I am over-the-hill anyway.
Hacksnort Jim Doogan: I think I should win because I believe in USA. HOOOO!!!!
Umaga: GRRR!!!
William Regal: Well, you all present convincing arguments, but I spent a fortune on my hair. I need some extra cash, so I AM the General Manager of RAW!
Shelton Benjamin: Wait, since when can he make that decision?
William Regal: Because I am the William Regal, BITCH!
:: The William Regal, BITCH! wins ::

Coach: Vince…
Mr. McMahon: Who?
Coach: I am sorry, Mister… its not fair! Its not fair! The William Regal, BITCH! ain’t even American! WAHHHH!
Mr. McMahon:Well, too bad. Now cheer up, sleepy jean. You are The William Regal, BITCH!’s assisting bitch.

Cool Computer Voice: We can rebuild Triple H. We have the anabolic steroids as prescribed by Doctor Astin. WE CAN REBUILD HIM!

The Grish: Hey Booker. You have a match. Any thoughts?
King Booker: I ahm KING!

Rory: Alright, what lad shall I face tonight?
Snitsky: ME!!!!
Rory: Fuck…
:: Snitsky wins in 2.3 seconds ::

Jillian: Lillian, our names rhyme.
Lillian: Yeah, and?
Jillian: Wanna hear me sing?
Lillian: Hell no.
Jillian: All right stop, collaborate and listen! The Jill is back with my brand new invention! Something grabs a hold of me tightly. Then I flow like a harpoon daily and night! Will it ever stop? Yo, I don’t know! Turn off the lights and I’ll glow! To the extreme I rock a mic like a vandal! Light up a stage and wax a chump like a candle.
Mickey James: STOP THE MADNESS!
Lillian: Thank GOD!
Jillian: How DARE you interrupt a great American classic!
:: Jillian wins ::
Jillian: I’m horny for you Lillian.
Lillian: I want to scrape your vocal chords.

Coach: I hate my job. I hate my life.
The William Regal, BITCH!: Do you know who am I?! I am THE NEXT Alex Trebek. So, to get my career in Game Show hosting off, I want you to construct a set and round up three contestants for a dating game. Oh yeah, and get a diva too.
:: After cameras go off the air ::
Coach: Come on! What diva could be dumb enough to fall for that!
The William Regal, BITCH!: Well, you can bribe her with this. :: Hands something over to Coach ::
Coach: A bucket of paint?! I am supposed to bribe a diva with a bucket of paint?! What the hell, man?!
The William Regal, BITCH!: Hey, don’t talk to me that way. Back where I come from, a bucket of paint is an aphrodisiac. So don’t talk to me like that. DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?! I am The William Regal, BITCH!

Carlito: Welcome to…
John Cena: CENA’S PIT! Ha! Watch me as I hilariously interview myself.
Randy Orton: You will not interview Myself! We don’t even have a wrestler by that name!
The William Regal, BITCH!: Okay, Orton! Carly. You decide who Cena’s opponent is, or I will ghetto slap the both of you, BITCH!

Carlito: We have decided that John Cena’s opponent will be Shriveled Monkey Penis!
The William Regal, BITCH!: … Dammit. You took my words too seriously. You have appeared to have outsmarted me this time Orton & Carly. Damn…. I would have gotten away with it, too, if it wasn’t for those MEDDLING KIDS… and that dog of there’s!
Scooby-Doo: ROOBY DOO!

Jerry Lawler: Time to school Booker.
King Booker: I don’t think so!
:: King Booker wins ::

Kennedy: KENNEDY! KENNEDY! KENNEDY! KENNEDY! KENNEDY! KENNEDY! KENNEDY! KENNEDY! KENNEDY! KENNEDY! KENNEDY! KENNEDY! KENNEDY! KENNEDY! KENNEDY! KENNEDY! KENNEDY! KENNEDY! KENNEDY! KENNEDY! KENNEDY! KENNEDY! KENNEDY! KENNEDY! KENNEDY! KENNEDY! KENNEDY! KENNEDY! KENNEDY! KENNEDY! KENNEDY! KENNEDY! KENNEDY! KENNEDY! KENNEDY! KENNEDY! KENNEDY! KENNEDY! KENNEDY! KENNEDY! KENNEDY! KENNEDY! KENNEDY! KENNEDY! KENNEDY! KENNEDY! KENNEDY! KENNEDY! KENNEDY! KENNEDY! KENNEDY! KENNEDY! KENNEDY! KENNEDY! KENNEDY! KENNEDY! KENNEDY! KENNEDY! KENNEDY! KENNEDY!

The William Regal, BITCH!: It is time to play… THE DATING GAME! Now, lets meet our bachelors!
Hacksnort Jim Doogan: HOOO!!!
Ron Simmons: DAMN!
Santino Marella: PEPPORONI Ah’ PIZZA!
The William Regal, BITCH!: Now, lets meet our diva!
Maria: YAY! A BUCKET OF PAINT! I, leik, ate paint chips as a baby!
The William Regal, BITCH!: Now, ask some questions!
Maria: Uhhh…
Hacksnort Jim Doogan: HOOO! TOUGH GUY! USA! USA! USA!
Ron Simmons: DAMN! SPAM! NAM!
Santino Marella: You either pick me or my godfather shall destroy you!
The Godfather: PIMPIN’ AIN’T EASY!
Maria: I pick… NUMBER 2!
Ron Simmons: DAAMMMNN!!!
Santino Marella: Hey! You can’t do this to me! I was once the Intercontinental Champion!
The William Regal, BITCH!: Well, actually, if you want to use that logic, sunshine. Ron Simmons was once the WWF World Tag Team Champion
Santino Marella: Okay…
The William Regal, BITCH!: CWF Heavyweight Champion, WCW United States Champion, WCW Tag Team Champion! And, I seem to be forgetting something…
Santino Marella: OKAY! I GET THE POINT!
The William Regal, BITCH!: OH YEAH! WCW World Heavyweight Champion!
Umaga: GRRR!
Ron Simmons: DAMN!… uhh… SCRAM!

Umaga: Grr…
John Cena: Lets fight Umaga!
Randy Orton: Time to die Cena!
Carlito: YEAH! Time to die!
:: John Cena wins by DQ ::
Umaga: Hey, wait a minute, guys. I was wanting to win that match!
Randy Orton: Shut up monster!
Carlito: Yeah, you are a monster! Not even a human! Now, attack Cena!
Randy Orton: Yeah Frankenstein, ATTACK CENA!
Umaga: You know. I am a human being… with feelings. I even love to play tennis! I RESENT THIS! Now… GGRRR!!!
Randy Orton & Carlito: SSHHHHIIIITTT!!!
The William Regal, BITCH!: Next week, obligatory tag match!

Mr. McMahon: Hey lockeroom! Paul London! Keep smiling!
Paul London: I will when I watch Snitsky face John Cena at Armageddon.
Mr. McMahon: WHAT DID I TELL YOU ABOUT… Well…. I guess no one really gives a shit about that spoiler. Anyway… I will continue walking. Hmm… something… about… this… seems familiar. Like… I’ve been here before. Like some sort of Day… Ja… Voo or something.. Hmmmmmm…
Coach: MISTER! STOP!
Mr. McMahon: How dare you address me by my first name! Now what is it?!
Coach: YOU HAVE ANOTHER CHILD!
Mr. McMahon: …. … … Fuck, I really wish that I did die in that limo explosion.