Randy Orton: Holy shit, I’m already in the ring! Okay, what to talk about? What to talk about? Well, last Saturday, I RKO’d Cena.
Mr. McMahon: I have a child and I learned that my offspring is a male… and thank god, because I won’t have to wipe out my memory of the “contract signing sessions” for the divas.
Randy Orton: Hey, I thought this was my interview!
Mr. McMahon: Yeah, but, its the first 15 minutes of the show. I’m always supposed to ramble on at the beginning of Raw. That’s my thing.
Randy Orton: Gotch’ya.
John Cena: I’m here! I’m still walking. Not even hurt!
Mr. McMahon: You know, I think I fucked your mother
::Cena slaps Mister::
Mr. McMahon: Hey, what did you do that for? Was it something I said?
Randy Orton: You’re dead mate!
Mr. McMahon: Tonight you face… The Undefeated Snitsky!
Crowd: Who?

Beth Phoenix: I really need personality.
Melina: I really need wrestling ability.
Mickie James: I look hot in anything!
Candice Michelle: I want my old music back!
William Regal: This Sunday, we will have a good old fashion battle royale. Lots of ass grabbing action is guaranteed!
:: Mickie James & Candice win ::

King Booker: Triple H, I challenge you, foo!

Mr. McMahon: Who is my son?
Coach: Hopefully it isn’t Big Show since you stuck your head up his ass and all.
Mr. McMahon: and you wonder why you were never made GM?
Val Venis: Helllloooo Dadddddiiiioooo
Mr. McMahon: Grr…
Daivari: :: says something in Arabian ::
Mr. McMahon: Get off of me!
Kennedy: Hey…
Mr. McMahon: … Thank god Paul London isn’t here.

Shelton Benjamin: You’re going down Goldust!
Cody Rhodes: I am not Dustin! I am Cody! You shall DIE!
::Cody Rhodes win::
Shleton Benjamin: You will pay for that victory!

Lance Cade: My name is no longer Garrison!
Trevor Murdoch: I’m still CONSTIPATED!
Brian Kendrick: I am no longer Spanky!
Paul London: ITS KENNEDY!
Mr. McMahon: FIRE HIM!
Cryme Tyme: PSYCH! We got Mr. Constipated’s hat!
Lance Cade: Hey! Quit creating a diversion!
::Kendrick & London Win:

Ron Simmons: YAM! DAMN! JAM! LAMB!
Maria: Leik, you are such a poet, Ron!
Santino: Its a me! MARIO!
Jillian: Before the night’s out, you are all going to be serenaded!

King Booker: Tonight, I shall crown my dome!
Sharmell: ALL HAIL KING BOOKAH!
King Booker: The person who will crown me is Triple H!
Obviously Not Triple H: I’ve been hired to insult the intelligence of fans, but I do have one funny nose.
King Booker: Now, for my next matter… you James Car… Ross. I want you to blo…. kiss my ring… jero… JAMES. DAMMIT! I KEEP FUCKING UP MY LINES!
JR: By gawd! Boomer sooner! BBQ SAUCE! I will not kiss that damn ring! Two Dollar Steaks!
Sharmell: I push you!
King Booker: I push you!
JR: By gawd! Boomer sooner! BBQ SAUCE! You are one real tough guy beating up on an old fat guy with Bells Palsey! THAT DAMN JEZEBEL!

Jillian: Iiiiiii willlll alllwwwwaaaaayyysss sssuuuuuccckkk at siiiinnnnggginnnnggg
Maria: Karaoke?
Random Guy: The following message has been paid for by the Mario Brothers
Santino Ya! Wa! Woo Hoo! YAHOOOO! Wa ha!
Ron Simmons: SHAM!

Carlito: Welcome to the Cabana
Ooo-Manga: Grrr…
Kennedy: KENNNEEEEEDDDDYYYY!!!!
Ooo-Manga: I shall express my frustration by destroying things!
William Regal That’s it… I smell a match! Winner takes Ooo-Manga at Summerscam, sunshine!

Carlito: Listen, I have the better catchphrase!
Kennedy: No, I do!
Carlito: That’s cool
Kennedy: KENNNEEEEEEEDDDDYYYYY!!!!
::Draw by double pin::
William Regal: I will go with the obvious twist. It will be a triple threat match-up!

Santino: Listen, the next time you touch a Peach, you will a get yer ass kicked!
Ron Simmons: You know, I think I am starting to get typecasted.

Mr. McMahon: Melina, since you are not my daughter, I’d like to fuck you.
Melina: Is it contract renewal time?
Mr. McMahon: Snitsky?
The Undefeated Snitsky: I will cause pain.

The Undefeated Snitsky: I will cause pain because I am undefeated!
John Cena: No you are not. You lost to Kane like 80 times.
The Undefeated Snitsky: I beg your pardon.
John Cena: You know, aborting Lita’s baby. The foot fetish. You know… when you had hair and slightly less ugly.
Randy Orton: HOW DARE YOU EXPOSE PLOT HOLES!
::Cena wins by DQ::
Randy Orton: That belt is so shiny. Soooooo ssshiiinnnnnyyyy….

 
    •    I like Candice’s old music better! Perhaps they could remix it?
    •    Where in the hell is Jeff Hardy?
    •    Note to WWE. Heel vs. Heel matches are never popular. Double pin finishes are never popular. 20 minute Heel vs. Heel Matches that end in double pin are REALLY unpopular… even if both competitors are pretty awesome!
    •    Summerslam’s card isn’t too bad, considering the billion injuries.
    •    If WWE wants me to take Snitsky serious… they need to first get him either in the tanning bed or have longer tights.

New Characters as of Late:

Paul London = Mr. Spoiler
Santino Marella = Slowly turning into Mario
Vince McMahon = His name is literally Mister McMahon.

Till next week!

RJ45