Monday Night Raw ABRIDGED 08.27.2007
Cena: Too bad Tonight, I want Triple H!
William Regal: Cenery, you will not have Triple Hate tonight. Tonight, you face this man!
King Booker: I have one bad ass pinky!
Cena: WTF, mate?
Randy Orton: Its not fair! Its not fair! Wah! Wah! Wah!
Kennedy: MIIISSSSSTTTEERRR DRRRUUUNNNKKKEEENNN KKKKEEENNNEEEDDDDYYY
Jeff Hardy: I’m back!
Kennedy: Where the hell were you?
Jeff Hardy: I was working on my entrance on how to improve it.
Kennedy: Well, I have the best entrance. I say my name twice.
Jeff Hardy: Actually, I have the best entrance. I hump the air.
Kennedy: Do not!
Jeff Hardy: Do too!
Kennedy: Do not!
Jeff Hardy: Do too!
Ooo-Manga: BARGH!
::Jeff Hardy wins by DQ::
Ooo-Manga: GRR! HEEL TURN!
Carlito: Welcome to the Cabana!
Mr. McMahon: I will sue the mother of my child!
Carlito: But umm… if you don’t know who she is, how can you sue her?
Mr. McMahon: Hey! We aren’t allowed to discuss logic here! This is the Double Double E!
Triple H: I’M BACK! Boy does it feel good!
Mr. McMahon: Hey, you lost some weight. What’s your secret?
Triple H: Not taking those injections.
Mr. McMahon: … …
Triple H: Anyway, Manwhore… here are 3 chicks and 1 dude you slept wth.
Mr. McMahon: I WAS DRUNK!
Triple H: Hey, Mister… you hate cocks!
Mr. McMahon: I love co… I hate you! I’m going to my room to cry!
Carlito: You don’t talk to Mister like that!
Triple H: SUCK IT!
::Triple H delivers the pedigree to Carlito::
Shelton Rodman: Look at my hair!
Charlie Haas: Uhh… yeah
Daivari: PRAISE AAAAA
Brian Kendrick: Please Paul, stop giving the dirt sheets spoilers!
Paul London: Damn, and I was really close to let everyone know that the planned Main Event for Survivor Series involves John Cena
Brian Kendrick: SHUT UP!
:: Cody & London/Kendrick win! ::
Daivari: I talk in a foreign language because that always bombs in front of crowds. Whoops… that’s not what I meant…
Cryme Tyme: Money money! Yeah yeah!
Lance Cade: I have a hat!
Trevor Mudroch: I don’t!
Cryme Tyme: Yo yo yo yo yo yo yo… YO! We can solve that problem!
::Cryme Tyme steals the Rednecks’ hat… rendering them hatless::
Maria: Leik! I’m so in front of a crowd. Leik! Oh my gosh! I am going to face Beth Phoenix, who is strong!
Beth Phoenix: I’m strong!
JR: BY GAWD! FRUITY FRUITY FRUITY SKITTLES! Beth Phoenix is strong! BY GAWD!
Referee: Are you okay Maria? ARE YOU OKAY?! You just got your ass kicked by Beth Phoenix. She is strong! Well… I will take you back to my hotel room so you can get rest…. yeah… yeah…that’s what’s going down…
The Grish: Candice! Last night, Beth Phoenix overpowered the battle royal with her enormous strength! Can you face that challenge?
Candice Michelle: Yes, while Beth Phoenix is strong, I face any challenge.
Snitsky: Hi, I am randomly interrupting you to tell you the same thing I’ve been saying for the past few months, just because the crowd hasn’t already had enough of me.
Mr. McMahon: What a bad week!
Coach: For sure
William Regal: Vince…
Mr. McMahon: Who?
William Regal: Oh sorry… Mister, your family is confronting you next week
Mr. McMahon: Coach, this is all YOUR fault!
- I fell asleep during the Orton/Booker thing, so I missed it. Thank goodness for 411Mania.com!
- Triple H looks like 80 times better since he lost all the steroid weight. Lot of wrestlers are starting to look skinnier. I assume its probably a combination of the Government investigation and Benoit’s death shaking everybody up? Could be. All I know is that the wrestlers will be able to move around better instead of lumbering around the ring.
- I like how WWE does everything but beat you over the head with everything in the major angles. In this case, “HEY! Its Mister Kennedy, dumbasses!”
- Umaga’s heel turn was strange, but the whole Savage Samoan with a silver grill isn’t exactly normal to begin with.
- In non-abridged news, WWE dropped New Years Revolution. THANK GOD! Too many damn Pay-Per Views. They can move the yearly elimination chamber to like Armageddon or Survivor Series.
Posted in Raw Abridged Recap |