Last Week: Randy Orton has crazy crazy feet!

Jeff Hardy: Hey, Manga-boy… I have something for you! STEROIDS!
Ooo-Manga: Grr… CANDY!
Jeff Hardy: Ha ha! Now that shit is in your system! You are now suspended for WWE’s Shoots and Ladders Wellness Policy…. sponsored by Skittles!
Ooo-Manga: Grr… I am NOT suspended!
:: The winner and the NEEEEEEWWWWW Intercontinental Champion, Jeff Hardy! ::
Jeff Hardy: Looks like you are!
Triple H: Yes you are!

Vince: Look at my legal team! We’ve been through so many things together! They’re like my family at this point!
Carlito: Hey! Lets see if you notice something!
Vince: You have a match with Triple H!
Carlito: Yeah… nothing going on with my hair…

Melina: William Regal… I slept with Vince.
William Regal: THAT’S DISGUSTING!
Melina: Geez… its okay… it is like you are in some sort of rage…
Stephanie: …
Linda: BITCH!
Ron Simmons: ….. … … .. … DAMN! I’ve been type casted!

Santino: Maria! I heart you!
Maria: I heart you!

Santino: I was Intercontinental Champion for 3 minutes!
Sandman: I’ve been hired to destroy you! Word has it you’ve ordered the wrong kind of candy! So, its ass kicking time!

Maria: Leik, I am facing Beth Phoenix. She is strong!
Beth Phoenix: I am strong, and I didn’t even have to dip into the candy backstage!
:: Beth Phoenix wins ::
Beth Phoenix: I am a Glamazon!
Jerry Lawler: Glamazon?
Candice Michelle: WTF?

Rednecks: We’re gentlemen!
Shelton Benjamin: God dammit Charlie! I told you those weren’t Sweet Tarts!
Charlie Haas: That’s what the pharmacy said they were!
Brian Kendrick: Okay Paul, we can have our heat back, but remember what they said about the spoilers!
Paul London: I know… I know… I won’t tell them about the suspensions.
Brian Kendrick: Dude, they already know that… so we’re good!
:: London & Kendrick win ::
Rednecks: We’re gentlemen!

William Regal: Owie!
Shane McMahon: See you in 30 days!

CM Punk: I don’t do drugs! So, WWE has definitely gotta promote me right now! SWEET!

Carlito: Ooo-Manga! Triple H laughed at you! Saying that you will be suspended for your candy!
Ooo-Manga: GRRR! TRIPLE H! HYPOCRITE! GRRR!

Vince: You know, you lawyers are like my kids. What should we do?
Lawyer #2: How about giving them some money?
Vince: YOU’RE FIRED!
Lawler #1: Sweet! More room on the couch!

Jillian Hall: I LUUUV SSSIIINNNGGGIIINNN!
Daivari: ARABIAN KNIIIIGGGHHHTTTTSS!!
Cody Rhodes: We’re what’s left of Raw!
Mickie James: Bouncy bouncy bouncy!
:: Cody Rhodes & Mickie James wins ::

Triple H: I have two theme songs!
Carlito: Nobody has said a damn thing about my hair, and that hurts my feelings! I spent hours on this!
Ooo-Manga: Grr!
:: Triple H wins by DQ ::
Triple H: Hey, aren’t you supposed to be suspended?
Ooo-Manga: GRR! NO! I no get suspended! You eat out of same candy dish I do!
Triple H: Not anymore, bub.
Ooo-Manga: Grrr! I attack you!
Triple H: I don’t think so. I am also a McMahon! So, I book you into getting your ass handed to you by me via a sledgehammer!
Phil Collins: SLEDGEHAMMER!
Ooo-Manga: … … … … fuuuck.

Mr. McMahon: My name is Vi… MISTER McMAHON! It’s all about the money! MONEY MONEY! YEAH YEAH!
Cryme Tyme: Bastard…
Linda McMahon: I don’t belong on camera.
Mr. McMahon: It is your fault I cheated on you with anything with a vagina!
Stephanie McMahon: I am full extra hotness!\
Mr. McMahon: Everything I did, I did for you! Here’s a video!
Video: This is the wrong thing that should be showing!
Triple H: My bad… hi honey!
Stephanie McMahon: Hi pookie!
Shane McMahon: OMG… I look almost exactly like my father now. By the way, which daddy am I talking to this week?
Crowd: ASSHOLE!
Linda McMahon: Which one of us are they talking to?
Mr. McMahon: By the way, don’t I have another kid?
Kennedy: KENNNEEEEDDDYYY!!!
Gay Lawyer: I don’t think so! Its somebody else!
Crowd: Oh, weak!
Gay Lawyer: Things are looking up!

RJ45’s Perspective:

• God, 11 wrestlers suspended? Considering the 8 billion injuries, this is like the worst thing possible for WWE right now.

• With WWE on hot water, perhaps promoting CM Punk won’t be such a bad idea.

• Okay, so they successfully wrote off Umaga, William Regal, Santino Marella, and Kennedy in one night. God damn! And the why the hell did they fire Cryme Tyme? That was stupid!

• “Things are looking up.” What in the fuck is that suppose to mean? Please, for the love of god, don’t let it be Triple H. I know Vince has wanted to do an incest angle for years, but lets just NOT do that, okay? With Kennedy out of the fold, I have no idea who they could pick as his child? Maybe… oh no… not Snitsky… or King Booker.

Till next week,

RJ45