3 Jobbers: We are all pasty white!
Mr. McMahon: Watch this video complete with music stolen right out of a mideviel movie!
Mideivel Video: Last Week, stuff happened.
Mr. McMahon: These 3 jobbers all have unique fighting styles but DON’T HAVE NAMES!
3 Jobbers: We fight!
Mr. McMahon: Nah… you see, its been 30 days since I suspended half of the roster due to them getting into the candy dish backstage. So, time to cram them all tonight… first with… OOH-MANGA!
Ooh-Manga: Grrrr!

London/Kendrick/Hardy: DREAM TEAM!
Murdoch/Cade/Benjamin: NOT SO DREAM TEAM!
:: London, Kendrick, and Jeff Hardy win! ::

Mr. McMahon: Welcome back William Regal!
William Regal: Yes, why thank you, sir.
Mr. McMahon: Now, tonight, I want you to babysit my son, Hornswoggle!
Hornswoggle: Ah…wakka wakka wakka!
William Regal: God dammit, why do I always have to be babysitting everyone?!
Mr. McMahon: Eric Bischoff gave you an excellent reference from your experiences with Eugene.
Eric Bischoff: Now that’s what I like to call a good rib!

Randy Orton: Look at me! I am EVIL!

Diva Search: Who gives a shit?

William Regal: Hey Highlanders, have you seen Hornswoggle?
Highlanders: WE WANT THE TAG TITLES!
William Regal: Ookay, well, that didn’t answer my question at all…

Cody Rhodes: I demanded a match with Hardcore Holly!
Other n00bs: Are you on crack?!
Hardcore Holly: Are you on crack?!
:: Hardcore Holly wins ::

Beth Phoenix: Glamazon! Glamazon! Glamazon! Lil… tell everyone I will be champion.
Lillian Garcia: Nah…
Beth Phoenix: Glamazon! Glamazon! Glamazon! I CHOKE YOU!
Candice Michelle: I will save her while I am in hip hugger jeans and my top with target on the nipples!

Saveme.222: Take a journey into The Matrix!

Mr. McMahon: I shall destroy Triple H!
Triple H: Hello Mr. McMahon. I want to play a game. So far in what could loosely be called your life, you have spent your life committing adultery and planting seeds into midgets. Right now, you are breathing in a deathly nerve agen…
Mr. McMahon: THAT’S IT! CUT THE CRAP! Lets get the referee out here!
Carlito Hebner: I spit in the face of people who use closed fists!
Triple H: I will used closed fists and break the rules!
:: Mr. McMahon wins by DQ ::
Ooh-Manga: Grr!
Carlito: Lets all stack the odds against Triple H!
Triple H: I don’t think so, son! Bring on the Sledgehammer!

Melina: AHHHH!!!
Mickie James: Bouncy! Bouncy! Bouncy!
Hornswoggle: BOOBIES!
:: Mickie James wins ::
Hornswoggle: Melina! I want to see your BOOBIES!
:: Hornswoggle strips Melina ::
Melina: AHHHH!!!

Hornswoggle: Hehehe!
William Regal: Hornswoggle! What the bloody hell are you doing?!
Steve-O: Hey guys! I’ve arrived for my match with Umaga!
William Regal: What the bloody hell are you talking about?
Steve-O: Isn’t this Summerslam?

Steve-O: Ron Simm…
:: Ron Simmons tosses Steve-O out the door ::
Ron Simmons: GOD DAAMN!

John Cena: I’m full of rage and beef jerky!
Mr. Kennedy: MIIISSSTTTEERRR KENNNEEEEDDDYYY!… KENNEEDY! Damn! It is GRREEAATT TO BE BAAACK!
John Cena: Hey, since it is your first night back and all… how about you tap out?
Mr. Kennedy: Okay!
:: John Cena wins ::
Randy Orton: HA! RIDICULOUSLY OBVIOUS SWERVE!
JR: BY GAWD! BOOMER SOONER! I did not see this coming! HOLY COW! A HOME RUN!
Randy Orton: I can count to eleventy!

- I would really like the announcers to announce the card after the first opening interview. While I like the pleasant surprises, it might help keep the viewers in.
- The Six Man Tag was great! I would have liked to have seen Trevor Murdoch & Lance Cade switched out for Charlie Haas & Carlito, but hey.
- Is it just me or did Candice Michelle have drawn on the nipples of what could loosely be called her top?
- A hot crowd tonight!
- Damn, is it just me or did television miss Mr. Kennedy? However, I am so sick of him losing all the damn time! Every time Kennedy loses, a part of me dies inside.

John Cena vs. Randy Orton. Predicted Winner: John Cena
Batista vs. Great Khali. Predicted Winner: Batista
Triple H vs. Umaga. Predicted Winner: Triple H
Beth Phoenix vs. Candice Michlle. Predicted Winner: Beth Phoenix
Fit Finlay vs. Rey Mysterio. Predicted Winner: Finlay

Till next time!

RJ45