Some Random Jogger: I like jogging…
HBK: I want a rematch!
Randy Orton: You get NO rematch! But… the torch will be passed down to me by SOME RANDOM JOGGER!
Some Random Jogger: I like jogging…
Kennedy: I want my match!
HBK: No way, Jose!
William Regal: YES! You two will have a match!
HBK: Its like I said… NO WAY… JOSE!
:: No contest :: Read the rest of this entry »

Batista: Surprise, bitches! Its November Mothafuckin’ Sweeps!
The Undertaker: DONG…. DONG… DONG…. let’s fight!
William Regal: Wait a second, sunshine! It’s bait and switch time!
Trevor Murdoch: Its rasslin’ time!
Lance Cade: Totally!
The Undertaker: TOMBSTONE CITY!
:: Batista & The Undertaker win ::
Batista: Not to be outdone, here is me serving Cade up a Batista bomb, courtesy of SmackDown!

Glamazon: I am perfect combination of strength and beauty. In case you people haven’t been beaten over the head with frying pan yet, I’m the GLAAAMMMAAZZZOONN! GLAAAMMMMAAZZOOON!! You get that? I am a GLA-MA-ZON! GLAMAZON… DUN DUN DUN!
Maria: Fashion disaster involving both my ring gear and my whore make-up! But, you know what, I feel like showing off some promise in the ring today!
Glamazon: Not for more than 2 minutes, the GLAMAZON… DUN DUN DUN… will not allow it!
Maria: Why not Glamazon… DUN DUN DUN?
Glamazon: Because I said so!
:: Glamazon wins ::

Santino Marella: Ignoring my girlfriend because I am an Italian dickhead, I am pissed off at Stone Cold Steve Austin! Nobody embarrasses Santino Marella without seeing me naked first, NOBODY! So, I will take all of my frustration out on… JR!
JR: BY GAWD! BOOMER SOONER! BBQ SAUCE! WHAT THE HELL DO I HAVE TO DO WITH ANYTHING? STOMPING A MUDHOLE AND WALKING IT DRY!
Jerry Lawler: You got a problem with JR, you first gotta go through me!
Santino Marella: Very well, I will let you have the first punch!
Jerry Lawler: Sounds good to me!
Santino Marella: OWIE! Why did you have to be so mean to me! Jerry Stupidhead Lawler! I’m telling mommy!

Santino Marella: Jerry Lawler! You have insulted my honor! I demand satisfaction! I challenge you to a duel! Will you accept or are you a coward?!

Survivor Series Flashback Segments That They Should Have Been Running All Month: First Survivor Series featured Hogan losing. Yay!

Matt Hardy: OH YEAAAAHHHH!!!!
Rey Mysterio: Booyaka Booyaka 619!
Jeff Hardy: Ummm… I have no spoken words in my theme…
Kennedy: KENNNEEEDDDYY!!!
Finlay: My name is Finlay, and I love to fight!
MVP: MASTADON!
Jeff Hardy: Come again?
Matt Hardy: Dude, you don’t know what its like having that dork as a tag team partner! Its just not like the good old days when we were Team X-Treme!
MVP: Matt… we need to get back to the command center, Tommy, Zordon is sick!
Matt Hardy: For the last fucking time, my name is NOT Tommy!
MVP: Hey, this is a G-Rated show, potty mouth!
Jeff Hardy: Oh SHUT UP!
:: Jeff/Matt/Mysterio win! :: Read the rest of this entry »

DX: BREAK IT MOTHAFUCKIN’ DOWN! One Night Only!
Triple H: One Night Only! Are you ready? I said… ARRREE YYYOOOUUU RRREEEAAADDY??? Then, for the thousands in attendance, and the millions watching around the world…
Hornswoggle: DX! DX! DX!
HBK: That’s not in the script!
Boogeyman: My favorite book is How to Eat Fried Worms
Triple H: That’s weird
Great Khali: Ijksdfj lovkjkje DkjkjX!
HBK: Okay, get in the back!
Coach: I object!
HBK: OVERRULED!
Triple H: LEEEETTTS GET READY TO SSSUUUUUUCCCKK IT!
HBK: One Night Only! And of course, if you aren’t down with that, we just got TWO WORDS FOR YA!
Crowd: SUCK IT! One Night Only!

Kelly Kelly: I have no personality!
Beth Phoenix: I’m a Glamazon! I have TONS of personality!
:: Beth Phoenix wins ::

Carlito: Who the hell are you?
Jobber: I’m Joey!
Carlito: Joey… meet Snitsky!
Snitsky: I’m only here for the beer!
:: Snitsky wins ::
Snitsky: I turn on Carlito!
Carlito: How could I have I NOT seen that coming?!

WWE: Okay fans, why the hell did you pick Jeff Hardy?!

Kennedy: KENNEDY!
Finlay: FINLAY!
Rey Mysterio: MYSTERIO!
Jeff Hardy: HARDY!
:: Hardy & Mysterio win ::

Santino: Time to open a can of the Ass-Whip!
Maria: I don’t feel comfortable doing that in front of these people, but I do feel comfortable wearing this very skimpy dress!
Santino: I hate The Condemned!
Steve Austin: I particularly love The Condemned! WHAT!
:: Stone Cold Stunner! ::
Santino: Oh boy… no more bottom lines!
Steve Austin: How about I literally shove The Condemned down your throat and give a beer bath?
Maria: What about me?
Steve Austin: Well, my probation officer is not going to like this. But, I’m a straight male… you’re a hot female. This is a beer hose. Really? Do I have to say anything more?

SaveUs.222: Long live the code!

Mr. McMahon: Horny… you have an opponent at Survivor Series… Great Khali!
Hornswoggle: Well, this sucks…

Triple H: Hi, this is Triple H. I am the filler!
HBK: We got it ready!
Naked Oily Guy: OLD PUNCHLINE!
Triple H: Okay, lets try this again. How about Playboy’s Girls Next Door?
Girls Next Door: WE CAN’T DANCE!

Mickie James: Good luck Trevor!
Lance Cade: BAD LUCK MICKIE!
Trevor Murdoch: Wow, that was mature

Cody Rhodes: I’m the son of a son of a plumber!
Billy Bob Holly: And I’m old!
Trevor Murdoch: MIIICCCKKIIIEEE!!!
:: Cody Rhodes wins ::

RIP Fabulous Moolah

Hacksaw Jim Duggan: HOOO!!!
Super Crazy: SIIIII!!!
Hacksaw Jim Duggan: HOOO!!!
Super Crazy: SIIIII!!!
Hacksaw Jim Duggan: HOOO!!!
Super Crazy: SIIIII!!!
Hacksaw Jim Duggan: HOOO!!!
Super Crazy: SIIIII!!!
Hacksaw Jim Duggan: HOOO!!!
Super Crazy: SIIIII!!!
Hacksaw Jim Duggan: HOOO!!!
Super Crazy: SIIIII!!!
Crowd: This isn’t working!
World’s Greatest Tag Team: Really….
:: Doogan & Crazy win! ::

Umaga: EVIL THUMB!!!!
Randy Orton: I am here to beat DX onto oblivious!
DX: Are you ready? ONE NIGHT ONLY!
:: DX wins! One Night Only! ::

RJ45’s Perspective:

• DX stuff was great. I hate to admit it, too. Them pulling out the script was classic, and total props for the Katie Vick reference. Irony? Triple H’s wife, Stephanie McMahon, wrote that story.
• I understand its November sweeps, but they should put that much energy into their shows EVERY week instead of needing an excus.
• The SI-Ho thing… ain’t gonna work.
• Okay, when did Jeff Hardy all of sudden become one of the biggest things in WWE?!
• I think the Stone Cold’s actual mic work could have been better. The segment, itself, was good overall. Of course, how can you go wrong with Maria get drenched in beer?
• RIP Fabulous Moolah. You were one of the greats, and you got to live a long and successful life and were on top all the way to the end!

Well, that’s it for this week!