Batista: Surprise, bitches! Its November Mothafuckin’ Sweeps!
The Undertaker: DONG…. DONG… DONG…. let’s fight!
William Regal: Wait a second, sunshine! It’s bait and switch time!
Trevor Murdoch: Its rasslin’ time!
Lance Cade: Totally!
The Undertaker: TOMBSTONE CITY!
:: Batista & The Undertaker win ::
Batista: Not to be outdone, here is me serving Cade up a Batista bomb, courtesy of SmackDown!

Glamazon: I am perfect combination of strength and beauty. In case you people haven’t been beaten over the head with frying pan yet, I’m the GLAAAMMMAAZZZOONN! GLAAAMMMMAAZZOOON!! You get that? I am a GLA-MA-ZON! GLAMAZON… DUN DUN DUN!
Maria: Fashion disaster involving both my ring gear and my whore make-up! But, you know what, I feel like showing off some promise in the ring today!
Glamazon: Not for more than 2 minutes, the GLAMAZON… DUN DUN DUN… will not allow it!
Maria: Why not Glamazon… DUN DUN DUN?
Glamazon: Because I said so!
:: Glamazon wins ::

Santino Marella: Ignoring my girlfriend because I am an Italian dickhead, I am pissed off at Stone Cold Steve Austin! Nobody embarrasses Santino Marella without seeing me naked first, NOBODY! So, I will take all of my frustration out on… JR!
JR: BY GAWD! BOOMER SOONER! BBQ SAUCE! WHAT THE HELL DO I HAVE TO DO WITH ANYTHING? STOMPING A MUDHOLE AND WALKING IT DRY!
Jerry Lawler: You got a problem with JR, you first gotta go through me!
Santino Marella: Very well, I will let you have the first punch!
Jerry Lawler: Sounds good to me!
Santino Marella: OWIE! Why did you have to be so mean to me! Jerry Stupidhead Lawler! I’m telling mommy!

Santino Marella: Jerry Lawler! You have insulted my honor! I demand satisfaction! I challenge you to a duel! Will you accept or are you a coward?!

Survivor Series Flashback Segments That They Should Have Been Running All Month: First Survivor Series featured Hogan losing. Yay!

Matt Hardy: OH YEAAAAHHHH!!!!
Rey Mysterio: Booyaka Booyaka 619!
Jeff Hardy: Ummm… I have no spoken words in my theme…
Kennedy: KENNNEEEDDDYY!!!
Finlay: My name is Finlay, and I love to fight!
MVP: MASTADON!
Jeff Hardy: Come again?
Matt Hardy: Dude, you don’t know what its like having that dork as a tag team partner! Its just not like the good old days when we were Team X-Treme!
MVP: Matt… we need to get back to the command center, Tommy, Zordon is sick!
Matt Hardy: For the last fucking time, my name is NOT Tommy!
MVP: Hey, this is a G-Rated show, potty mouth!
Jeff Hardy: Oh SHUT UP!
:: Jeff/Matt/Mysterio win! ::

SaveUs.222: BREAK THE WALLS!

Mr. McMahon: Okay, since nothing could possibly go wrong in a face-to-face segment, here is Randy Orton and Shawn “Skinner” Michaels!
Randy Orton: Just in case you forgot the stipulations!
Shawn Michaels: I haven’t forgotten!
Randy Orton: They are…
Shawn Michaels: Dude, you have to keep going like this…
Randy Orton: If you use the…
Shawn Michaels: Lets talk about something else! How’s your old man?
Randy Orton: SWEET CHIN MUSIC…
Shawn Michaels: How’s the stock market treating you?
Randy Orton: You will be DISQUALIFIED!
Shawn Michaels: Yeah yeah yeah, and if you get DQ’d, I win the title. We get it. How about a game of Sorry?
Randy Orton: How about eating an RKO Sammich!
:: Randy Orton delivers the RKO Sammich to Shawn Michaels ::
Mr. McMahon: Wait, why was I here again?

Jillian Hall: I think I need more plastic surgery!
Melina: Anybody like my new hair?
Layla El: Anybody like my ass in these jean shorts?
Kelly Kelly: Pretty
Michelle McCool: In
Mickie James: Pink!
Layla El: Man, I’m such a n00b!
Mickie James: Yeah, but… I can’t help but … kiss you… and then… kick you…in the fucking head… n00b…
:: The Pink Hotties win ::

Survivor Series Flashback Segments That They Should Have Been Running All Month: Montreal finish only with The Rock and Mankind instead!

Jerry Lawler: ITS CLOBBERIN TIME!
Santino Marella: They only thing that will be clobbering is your face!
Jerry Lawler: I don’t think so, BOY!
:: Lawler wins ::
Jerry Lawler: How about them Cubbies?

SaveUs.222: Ys and Js… What could this all mean? FIND OUT NEXT WEEK!

:: earlier today in front of an empty arena ::
William Regal: Ladies and gentlemen of the audience…
Lillian Garcia: Uhhh… Regal, there isn’t…
William Regal: Don’t interrupt me, SUNSHINE! We have a training session! First, Hornswoggle!
Hornswoggle: Hahahaha… Hey Beavis!
“Khali“: This fucking sucks
“Runjin“: I do a dead on impersonation of Runjin Bischoff!
Wiliiam Regal: Now, let the hilarity ensue!
:: Hornswoggle wins ::
Coach: I fucking quit….

Todd Grisham: Triple H… your thoughts?
Triple H: I am the one true destroyer!
Todd Grisham: Why do I work here again?

Survivor Series Flashback Segments That They Should Have Been Running All Month: Doink, Dink, Wink, Pink, Lawler, Cheesy, Sleazy, Queezy…. lets try to get that one…

Triple H & His Lumberjacks: A lumberjack match… what could possibly go wrong?
Umaga & His Lumberjacks: BEHOLD THE POWER OF MY EVIL THUMB! BAAA!!
Finlay: Predictable DQ!
:: No contest, everyone brawls::

JR: BY GAW….

Steve-O: Time for my crappy braindead show!

- Wow, we had some old school promos between Batista & Triple H. Very 80s, I dug it!
- I’m sorry, but that random dude as Runjin was priceless, along with William Regal talking to… NOBODY!
- The main event was so predictable, I actually had my recap typed out before the match even started!
- Was it just me or did Maria actually look good, skill wise, in the ring? Is she trying to take Candice’s spot, perhaps?
- Seems like a decent PPV is in the works. Looks more promising than Summerscam!

Shawn Michaels vs. Randy Orton Winner: Shawn Michaels due to unintentional DQ thanks to EDGE! Orton retains!
Batista vs. The Undertaker, Hell in a Cell Winner: Batista
Team HHH vs. Team Umaga Winning Team: Team HHH, Predicted Sole Survivors: HHH & Jeff Hardy
Great Khali vs. Hornswoggle Winner: Hornswoggle by DQ
Nice Divas vs. Evil Divas Winners: Nice Divas