Sorry for missing them the last 2 weeks. I kept falling asleep during the 2nd hour. NOT THIS TIME! : This is my family…
Shane: Yo
Stephanie: I Heart Hunter
Hornswoggle: Nobody messes with me Lucky Charms
Triple H: What about me! Hey, and what about these people you fucked?
Melina: I won the Woman’s Title and had a spot on Wrestlemania 23 this way…
Sunny: I’m looking hot!
Mae Young: Who’s your Granny?!
The Fink: The winner and NNNEEEEWWWW GAY LOVER OF MR. McMAHON!
Bastion Booger: Boogers were involved…
Big Dick Johnson: So oily…
Jerry Brisco: You would have done the same thing!
Pat Patterson: Don’t act surprised!
Ace Knuckleball Schwartz: I threw him a screwball…
Stephanie: I HEART Hunter!
Mr. McMahon: Triple H… I… hate… you… … …
Hornswoggle: Me sad…
Triple H: Don’t be sad!
Godfather: HHOOOO!!! TRAIN!
The Ho Train: We each getting paid fitty dolla to be here!

Mr. McMahon

Jeff Hardy: Ladder time!
Carlito: Aww man, this sucks…
:: Jeff Hardy wins ::

Shawn Michaels: 15 years ago I defended my Intercontinental title against…
Todd Grisham: Max Moon
Shawn Michaels: Against…
Todd Grisham: Max Moon…
Shawn Michaels: Well, the name isn’t important! Tonight, Kennedy goes against THE REAL SLIM SHADY… I’m sorry… THE REAL MARTY JANNETTY!
Marty Jannetty: COCAINE BLUES!

15 Year Highlight Reel: Well, the following happened…. Oh fuck it, look it up on YouTube in a couple of days…

Santino Marella: I am da future of the Dubya Dubya E!
Maria: I just look pretty…
Santino Marella: So, I challenge ANYBODY!
RVD: I’m motherfucking back!

Lillian Garcia: Introducing EVOLUTION!
Ric Flair: WOO!
Triple H: Game time!
Batista: Machine gun!
Randy Orton: I am NOT joining you guys again! You were so mean! YOU BIG MEANIES!
Edge: Instead, lets bring back Rated RKO! And in a Six-Man Tag Match… and you will NEVER guess who our Tag Team Partner is…
Triple H: Umaga
Randy Orton: UMAGA!
Umaga: SUPER EVIL THUMB ACTION!
:: No contest ::

15 Year Highlight Reel: A whole lotta vehicles got damaged and a lot of fluid was dumped into the ring by some of the said vehicles…

Hornswoggle: HAHAHAHA!
Molly Holly: Damn… I can’t believe I flew all the way for this…
Mickie James: Someone give that midgets some qualudes..
William Regal: Easy little elf… because next segment is Workrate Mania: You vs. the Great Khali. Oh yeah, and Finlay is stuck in a bar in Ireland…

Hornswoggle: This sucks…
Great Khali: Tjskdfhis sujlkjcks!
Hulk Hogan: Whatch’ya going to do?!

15 Year Highlight Reel: That damn DX!

15 Year Highlight Reel: That damn Mick Foley! That damn Steve Austin!

The Fink: 15 Man Battle Royal!
Al Snow: What does everybody want?
Bart Gunn: I’m big in Japan
Doink: I’m a clown!
Repo Man: What’s mine is mine… and what’s yours is mine too! AHAHAHAHA!
Steve Blackman: Why do I have a big pop?
Pete Gas: I like me sweater…
Bob Backlund: Forget Ron Paul, vote for MEEEE!
The Goon: Who?
IRS: Don’t call me Irwin!
Skinner: Thank you to Shawn Michaels’ hat for bringing me back for REALS!
Flash Funk: Why couldn’t I have been Too Cold Scorpio?
Gangrel: 5iN is creaming himself right now…
Jim Neidhart: GET READY FOR A HART ATTACK!
Scotty II Hotty: W… O…R…M!
Sgt. Slaughter: MAGGOTS!
Gillberg: In your face, Goldberg!
:: IRS Wins ::
The Million Dollar Man: Everybody has got a price for the Million Dollar Man! AHAHAHAHAHAHA!
:: Ted Dibease wins ::

Eric Bischoff: Damn you WWE for killing WCW!
Chris Jericho: Damn you Bischoff for looking like a dipshit!
Randy Orton: Damn you Jericho for having better mic skills than me!
:: Jericho slaps the Walls of Jericho on Orton ::

Dusty Rhodes: I’m so pweety!
Hardcore Holly: Its Tag Titles time!
Cody Rhodes: YEAH!
Rednecks: I don’t think so!
Hardcore Holly: I think so!
:: The winners and NEEEWW Tag Team Champions, Hardcore Holly & Cody Rhodes ::

15 Year Highlight Reel:  The Celebrities!

15 Year Highlight Reel:  The Boobies!

Jillian: On the first day of CHRISTMAAAASSS…
Trish Stratus: Wow, that really really sucked…
Lita: Yeah… really sucked…

15 Year Highlight Reel: THE FUNNIES!

15 Year Highlight Reel: Weddings!
Lita: How’s it hangin?
Kane: Uhh… see any good movies?
Ron Simmons: DAMN!

Kennedy: KENNEDY!
Marty Jannetty: All you other Jannettys are just imitatin…
:: Kennedy wins ::
HBK: Its go time!
Triple H: How about DX Time?
HBK: BREAK IT DOWN!

Mr. McMahon: Main event masturbatory segment! Greatest superstar ever is …. MEEEE!!!!
Mankind: SOCKO!
The Undertaker: Chokeslam!
Steve Austin: BEER! Oh yeah… and the greatest Raw Superstar is … THE FANS! COP OUT! Here are all the superstars!
15 Years of Superstars: GO US!
——-
RJ45’s Perspective:

- Damn… FINALLY… Sunny looked good. She hasn’t looked so good over the recent years due to drugs and depression (Chris Candido dying didn’t help matters). So, it was great to see her looking like I remembered her when I was 12 years old and downloading her JPGs onto my PC when I had just discovered that girls no longer had cooties… instead, they had boobies

- RVD was a nice surprise!

- Was the world really waiting for the big Evolution reunion? I hate it when WWE creates “nostalgia” that we shouldn’t really be excited about in the first place. Evolution was great, but we will live if there is no reunion ever again.

- That whole Hulk Hogan segment was just a little off. Hogan obviously didn’t bring his A-game, but that’s understandable considering the whole, well, divorce thing. I wonder if Khali was not letting Hogan slam him because either they are saving that for a potential match or because Khali didn’t want to get killed in case Hogan fucks up or a little bit of A and B?

- Yeah, tonight proved new Divas need to learn a thing or two from Trish, Lita (excluding mic skills), and Sunny. (Especially the SmackDown and ECW divas.)

- Jannety looked AWFUL. He looked great 2 years ago. Amazing what 2 years can do…

- Where the hell was Bret Hart in all of those flashback segments?! Eddie Guerrero?!

- You know how WWE hires wrestlers after one of these events? Prediction: Steve Blackman, RVD, Sunny, and Molly Holly gets a contract.

Armageddon 2007 Predictions:
Chris Jericho vs. Randy Orton Prediction: Jericho by DQ
Batista vs. Edge vs. Undertaker Prediction: Batista
Triple H vs. Jeff Hardy Prediction: Triple H
CM Punk & Kane vs. Big Daddy V &  Mark Henry Prediction: BDV & Mark Henry
Shawn Michaels vs. Mr. Kennedy Prediction: Mr. Kennedy
Finlay vs. Great Khali Prediction: Draw
Mickie James vs. Beth Phoenix Prediction: Beth Phoenix
MVP vs. Rey Mysterio Prediction: MVP

Till next time!

RJ45