JR: By gawd, King of the Ring!
Jerry: ITS GOOD TO BE A KING! You see, cause, my name is Jerry the King Lawler, and tonight we are having a KING of the Ring tournament. GET IT! GET IT?!?!?!

Lillian: Yeah, tonight is that King of the Ring thingy where people fight and become kings and some other, like, stuff…
Chris Jericho:
MVP: What’s going on here? Why aren’t their empty seats?
Chris Jericho: Cause this is RAW, BI-YOTCH!
:: Chris Jericho wins ::
Chris Jericho: Ooohh…. I love the feel of my sweaty body up against a velvet chair… Ooooooo….

CM Punk: Ohh… If I win, people could call me King Money!
Matt Hardy: And if I win, people could call me King Hardy! HA!!!
CM Punk: Uhh… yeah…
:: CM Punk wins ::

Chris Jericho: Ooohh…. I love the feel of my sweaty body up against a velvet chair… Ooooooo….

JBL: I AM SO SMART! I AM SO SMART! S M R T, I MEAN S M A RT! I AM SO SMART!

Great Khali: Ooojsfklklsfdklh…. Isfjd lovkflsjdkle thbfgvde feesdkfl okssflf mayfby sweatfsdly bodsfday uwep againssfdltkrt askld velvesopikt chaisjkdopfjkr… Ooooookfsdopjo….
Finlay: Its fighting time!
Hornswoggle: Top of the mornin’ too ya!
Great Khali: Hesfdky, hosfdw aboukweoprt Isfd jussdt dsfdpq myselvklf fowjeiofr nsdo reafsfdl reasoskopn!
Finlay: OWIE! MY KNEE!
:: Finlay wins by DQ ::
Big Show: ITSSSS GOOOOO TIIIMMMEEE!! AAGGGHHH!!
Great Khali: Whusfdlt arfpweoe yoskdlu doisfjkdln hersfdjfklsde?
Big Show: TOOOOO KIIICCK YOOOOUURR AAASSS! AAGGGHHH!!

William Regal Sunshine: My haircut cost me a fortune, so I better win that crown so I can pawn it off to pay for my next haircut, SUNSHINE!!
Lillian: And his opponent! Hornswoggle the Dork…errr…. I mean DWARF!
William Regal Sunshine: Piece of cake, SUNSHINE!
:: William Regal Sunshine wins! ::
Finlay: Don’t hurt him! He’s just a child!
Hornswoggle: Ummm… actually, I have a wife, 3 kids, a house, a big screen TV, my own cell phone….
Finlay: Okay… okay…
Hornswoggle: A dog, a cat, a hamster, my own garden, a wine cellar, a Toyota Camry,
Finlay: OKAY!
Hornswoggle: A meat cleaver, a hockey mask, an axe, 3 dead teenagers in a closet. However, there is this one girl though that’s still running around. She just won’t take a hint…I am like “DIE BITCH! DIE!” and she is all like “OH NOES! I want to live! LET ME LIVE!” … stupid bitch…
Finlay: ALRIGHT! WE GOT IT!!!! You are an adult that leads a normal adult life. Sheesh!

Shawn Michaels: Okay Batista, what’s your problem with me?
Batista: You retired Ric Flair. No fair! He was my bestest buddy in the whole wide world!
Shawn Michaels: Oh yeah! Well. he was my bestest buddy in the whole wide GALAXY!
Batista: OH YEAH?! Well, he was my bested buddy in the whole wide UNIVERSE!
Shawn Michaels: OHHH YEAHHH!!
Batista: YEAAHHHH!!!!! Yeah! Your eyes are crossed!
Shawn Michaels: Its a weak eye problem, I CAN’T HELP IT!
Batista: Your face can’t help it!
Shawn Michaels: That’s what your mom said last night!

Hillary Clinton: Hill-rod! Wrestling cliches! Intelligence insulted!

Hardcore Holly: Hey, what is these things around our waists…
Cody Rhodes: They look like Tag Team Titles.
Carlito: Yeah, and we want them!
Santino: Yes, so get ready for a can of the ass whip!
:: Carlito wins ::

Triple H: I am the game! Me mean! ME NASTY! GRR!!

CM Punk: I could be King Money!
Chris Jericho: Instead of Y2J, I COULD BE KYJ!
CM Punk: … … …
Chris Jericho: … … …
:: CM Punk wins ::

Barack Obama: Do you smell what Barack is cooking?

William Regal Sunshine: Off with their heads!
Finlay: Owie! MY KNEE! IT HURTS! IT HURTS! OWIE! OWIE! OWIE! OWIE! OWIE!
:: William Regal Sunshine wins! ::

John McCain: We need to stay in Iraq! Yeah, that’ll get me elected!

John Cena: I love my hat!

“Hillary Clinton”: Blah blah blah blah
“Bill Clinton”: WHATCH’YA GONNA DO BROTHER!
“Barack Obama”: IF YA SMELLALALALALALA! What BARACK IS COOKIN!
Umaga: EVIL NASTY THUMB! GRRR!!!
:: No contest ::

Good Divas: Mickie! Mickie! Your so fine, you blow my mind! HEY MICKIE!
Mickie James: Bouncy! Boucy!
Bad Divas: Slap in the face!
Michelle McCool: No, this is a slap!
:: Catfight ::
Jerry Lawler: I just came…
JR: That’s just gross…

William Regal Sunshine: Listen to my omnious EVIL music!
CM Punk: Oh gawd, will these matches just FUCKING STOP!
William Regal Sunshine: NO!
:: The winner and the 2008 KING OF THE RING… William Regal! ::
King Sunshine: VEELLLLVVEEETTT!!

Randy Orton: Age of Orton! Legend Killer! One Man Dynasty!
JBL: Wrestling God!
Chavo Guerrero: Nephew of Uncle Eddie!
Edge: Rated R Superstar!
Triple H: The Game! The Cerebal Assasin! The King of Kings!
John Cena: Word Life! Chain Gang!
Kane: The Big Red Machine!
The Undertaker: The Phenom! The Dead Man!
:: Legend Killer, Wrestling God, Nephew of Uncle Eddie, and Rated R Superstar win!::
JR: By gawd! Boomer sooner! That damned Jezebel! Backlash this Sunday! BBQ SAUCE!

• Okay, King of the Ring is supposed to go to up and comers… people that are on their way to the main event. The King of the Ring has been given to such greats as Bret Hart, Owen Hart, Steve Austin, Triple H, Edge, and Motherf’n Billy freakin’ Gunn!William Regal is an accomplished wrestler, and a great one at that. However, he’s in the years of his career where he is winding down. Giving it to him instead of someone like MVP or Kennedy was really pointless. Maybe he will propel to the main event and I will be eating my words. I’d like to see it!
• Clinton vs. Obama was about a 5 on the “Trump/Rosie Disaster 1 to 10 Scale with 10 being Trump/Rosie and 1 being ECW 2.0). It was bad, but it could have been a lot worse. A LOT WORSE.In fact, it was the Bill Clinton impersonator that stole the show and saved it from becoming a complete and total shitfest. Ya gotta think though, Obama and Clinton were local indy wrestlers who just wrestle and probably don’t even do comedy angles. The Bill Clinton dude was a professional actor who plays Bill Clinton for a living every day. He’s got the act down by now and knows what works and what doesn’t. So, that is why he was the only redeeming quality.STILL, I WOULD HAVE RATHER SEEN A WRESTLING MATCH!

  “Don’t touch her! She doesn’t even let me touch her!” is one of the greatest things I’ve ever heard.

• Batista and HBK have a decent feud going and I’d like to see Batista get schooled a bit in the ring by Shawn Michaels.

Later!

RJ45