Last Night on Backlash: All kinds of crazy shit happened! New Champions and other stuff!

Lillian Garcia: Here is your NEW WWE Champion, Triplllllllllllllllllllllllle H!
Triple H: I am victorious! YEAH!
Randy Orton: NO! YOU DO NOT GET A VICTORY SPEECH! No fair! I am going to tell daddy!
Triple H: I fucked Daddy’s daugther and gave Daddy some grandkids to pass this company down to 50 years from now, so good luck there.
Randy Orton: Well then, I am going to cash in my imaginary rematch clause TONIGHT!
Triple H: Sure, go ahead, knock yourself out.
Randy Orton: Alright, I WILL!
:: Orton runs into a wall, backstage, knocking himself out ::

Good Divas: Perky boobies!
Bad Divas: Naughty boobies!
Natayla Neidhart: Okay, when am I going to get serious ring action here.
Victoria: Get in line!
:: Good Divas win ::

Robbie: I’M ROBBIE! I still have a job!
JBL: Wrong answer, bub.
:: JBL wins ::
Rory: Dude, you’re on your own. I am going to go to the back and sign up for gimmick reassignment.
TNA: MUWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
JBL: Cena… .YOU’RE NEXT!

Paul London:  Dude, if you guys loved the ending to last night’s main event, you are not going to believe the shit that is going down tonig…
Brian Kendrick: SHUT UP! JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP!
The Rednecks: We are rednecks!
:: London & Kendrick win! ::
Trevor Murdoch: :: starts singing :: Delta Dawn what’s that flower you have on? Could it be a faded rose from days gone by? and did i hear you say he was a meeting you here today! to take you to his mansion in the sky-eye!
Everyone: The hell?

Paul Burchill: Ahoy, matey! ARGH! Today is a good day for plunderin?
Katie Lea: I’m hot and I know it, which makes more hotter. BTW… tonight, its 2 on 1!
Super Crazy: Uhh … No estoy en los hombres, amigo. Sin embargo, Katie Lea, que podría usted y yo, chica.
Paul Burchill: ARGH! Matey! You be a hitting on me sister as you are just interested in Katie. Wherever she goes, I go, YARRRRRP!!!!
Super Crazy: Esto va a ser realmente malo.
:: Paul Burchill and Katie Lea win! ::

The Grish: So Randy… you having any 2nd thoughts?
Randy Orton: NO!
The Grish: WHY DID YOU HAVE TO BE SO MEAN TO ME?!

King Sunshine: I, William Regal, am King of Everything!
Kennedy: I don’t think so, scooter. FACE TURN, BITCHES!  I’m the real king because no one invited me, dammit! So, if you have any balls, you will face me!
King Sunshine: Oh, I’m not falling for the “You have no balls” trick. So many heels lose their precious items with that, sunshine. So, run along little fella!
Kennedy: Its brawling time!

Santino Marella: I hate fake Italian Stereotypes! Although, I wish my wife was one because she’s a really bad cook…. can of the ass-whip!
Cody Rhodes: I’m the son of the son of a plumber!
:: Code wins ::
Carlito: BACK STABBING TIME!
Hardcore Holly: GET BACK HERE, BOY!

Chris Jericho: Tonight, the best actor in Sports Entertainment award will be given.
Mike Adamle: OOH! PICK ME! In fact, it will be me… UNOS! DOS! ADIOS!
Chris Jericho: And the nominees are… Don Murraco and Mister Fuji!
Don Murraco: You’re looking at the original Rock.
Mr. Fuji: My Yokozuma, issue you challenge!
Chris Jericho: Heidenreich and Michael Cole….
Heidenreich: YOU GOT A PURDY MOUTH!
Michael Cole: Oh gawd!
Chris Jericho: AND SHAWN MICHAELS!
Batista: You retired Ric Flair!
HBK: I hurt my knee!
Chris Jericho: And the weiner is… Shawn Michaels
HBK: I’m hurt, Chris!
Chris Jericho: Yeah yeah yeah, nobody believes that
HBK: Instead of standing up for myself, I will just sit here with a stupid look on my face!

Santino Marella: Hey lady, do the chickens have large talons?
The Pregnant Rowdy Roddy Piper: WHAT THE HELL DID YOU SAY, BOY?!

Triple H: Its time for my title match! Hey… aren’t we a little early for this?
Randy Orton: Yeah, they are going to give us time to have a classic match with no possible way of screwing this up. CHINLOCK!
Triple H: Hmmm… it just seems strange. SPINEBUSTER!
Randy Orton: Yeah, I know. CHINLOCK!
Triple H: But really, its not like some bozo is going to go to the production truck and turn it off or anything crazy insane shit like that. I mean, that’s Vince Russo stuff. SPINEBUSTER!
Randy Orton: Word. CHINLOCK!
:: Meanwhile in the production truck, William Regal has entered the truck ::
King Sunshine: I, William Regal, proclaim that the fans don’t deserve a main event finish!
Production Guy: No way dude!
King Sunshine: Like, way, dude!
:: Raw goes off the air ::
Triple H: What the fuck? SPINEBUSTER
Randy Orton: The hell? CHINLOCK!
Everybody Collectively: WHAT KIND OF A FUCKING BOGUS BULLSHIT ENDING IS THAT?!?!?!?!

RJ45’s Perspective:

• Okay, as much of a bullshit ending that was, if done correctly, it makes Regal look more like a bad ass. Honestly, I would prefer William Regal as the powerhungry asshole over Vince McMahon anyday. I think he needs servants and people to kiss his feet and or hand. They can really go all out on this and make it both cheesy but awesome at the same time.
• Jericho has really been awesome in the past 2 months, which really makes up for his overall lacklustre comeback before that.
• I make so many jokes about Michael Cole being raped, I never realized that they actually did that angle. Hilarious shit.
• It looks like the WWE Divas Circuit is finally coming into its own after what, 10 years or so after they established it? Now they need to like convert either Heat or ECW on Sci-Fi to at least 30 minutes of diva action to really establish it some more. They have good wrestlers such as Mickie James and Victoria. The models they hired are starting to develop such as Candice Michelle, Ashley, Michelle McCool, and Maria. There is also about only a few duds in there like Melina and Jillian, but hey! Not to mention newcomers Katie Lea and Natayla Neidhart, they are really shaping up!