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Monday Night Raw ABRIDGED 06.09.2008: Vince Gets Rick Rolled

June 10th, 2008 by RJ45

Vince McMahon: This week’s password is WWE UNIVERSE.

Money: Seriously dude, how about you spend me on more advertising or gas.

Mr. Kennedy: Time for our feud blowoff!

Paul Burchill: About bloody time!

:: Kennedy wins ::

Katie Lea: NOOOOOO!!!

Paul Burchill: Meet… THE TWISTED SISTER!

Vince McMahon: TIME TO GIVE AWAY $200,000!

Money: Vince Mahon, YOU GOT RICK ROLLED, BIYOTCH!

Mickie James: BOUNCY BOUNCY BOUCY!

Beth Phoenix: GLAAAMMAAAZZOONN!!

:: Mickie James wins ::

Melina: RARRR! ME ANGRY!

Vince McMahon: Its all about the money!

Some Random Person: WWE Universe!

Vince McMahon: You win $75,000!

Triple H: Title match! Nothing personal!

John Cena: I beat you last time! Nothing personal!

Triple H: Well, that was then, this is now. Nothing personal!

John Cena: I understand! NOTHING PERSONAL!

Vince McMahon: Now, for the person that will help me give away my money… CHARLIE HAAS!

Crowd: Who?

Charlie Haas: Hello.

Vince McMahon: Watch me not know how to operate a telephone!

Phone: Nothing.
Vince McMahon: Watch me not know how to operate a telephone!

Phone: Nothing

Vince McMahon: Watch me not know how to operate a telephone!

Phone: BUSY SIGNAL!

Vince McMahon: Watch me not know how to operate a telephone!

Some Random Person: WWE UNIVERSE!

Vince McMahon: Charlie, kiss Maria! If you do, this random person wins $50,000 more dollars!

Charlie Haas: Sure thing!

Vince McMahon: Charlie, kiss Mae Young! If you do, this random person wins $25,000 more dollars!

Charlie Haas: How come that person gets the money and not me!

Mae Young: Come here sweet cheeks. Back in my day, they used to call sandwiches “Flat Freddies” and they were two playing cards a bite!

Charlie Haas: Dammit, now I have to get my shots again!

JBL: You people don’t deserve money. John Cena deserves a beating!

Triple H: Joining for some commentary!

JBL: Its battle time!

John Cena: Lets fight! Fight of my life since I have NEVER defeating JBL EVER BEFORE… … … EVER!

:: John Cena wins ::

Triple H: Cena, watch me stand on the commentary table! Nothing personal!

John Cena: Now watch me stand on the commentary table. Nothing personal!

Triple H: Time for me to trip you on the commentary table. Nothing personal!

Vince McMahon: Its time for money. Lillian, did you know that 38 + 24 + 36 is 98?

Lillian Garcia: No. Not off the top of my head.

Vince McMahon: Well, it does, so this random personal gets $98,000!

Y2J: HBK is my hero!

HBK :Well, thank you!

Y2J: People like you, even if you do bad things. They will even boo me!

HBK: That’s the way the cookie crumbles.

Y2J: So how does it feel to be a LYING… CHEATING… PATHETIC HUMAN BEING?!

HBK: Hey, that is a bit uncalled for, especially that human being remark!

Y2J: SWERVE! Kick to the sack!

HBK: The fuck?!

Y2J: Go into the Hideously Expensive Jeritron 9000 and SHATTERED THE SILLY BASTARD!

Marty Jannetty: KARMA!

You Manga: Grills on Teeth Grrr…

Snitsky: Ugly Brown Teeth Grrr!
Cody Rhodes: Everything is fine!

Sparky Plugg Holly: Everything is NOT fine!

:: You Manga & Snitsky win! ::

Ted Dibease Jr: I’m priceless!

Vince McMahon: WWE Idol!

Trevor Murdoch: I can sing!

Jillian: I can not!

Vince McMahon: This random person wins $2!

Random Person: WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK! DAMN YOU FUCKING TO HELL! WHAT KIND OF FUCKING SHIT IS THIS?!

Vince McMahon: And this person wins $200,000!
Random Person: HA! LUCK OF THE DRAW!

Santino & Carlito: We can’t speak English!

Cryme Tyme: That money, money… YEAH YEAH!

:: Cryme Tyme wins ::

Vince McMahon: This random person wins the odd amount of $51,998!

John Cena: Now its my time for commentary

Triple H: What is he doing here?!

Jeff Hardy: DO YOU SEE THE WRITING ON THE WAAALLL?!

John Cena: Time to distract you, Triple H. Nothing personal!

:: Jeff Hardy wins by countout ::

Mr. McMahon: This random person gets $250,000. Another million coming out next week!

RJ45’s Perspective:

HELL YES! VINCE MCMAHON! YOU GOT RICK ROLLED! Funniest fucking thing ever!
I think its nice that they are having a million dollar contest, but it shouldn’t dominate the show and definitely shouldn’t get the main event slot! I also think that they need to bring this giveaway to backstage because its likely to have less technology issues. Plus, Vince is apparenly blind as a fucking bat!The money segments were awkward and painful to watch. Plus, I didn’t win, so fuck that shit
Its disappointing to see the main event of Night of Champions be Triple H vs. John Cena. I’m done with Cena as champ. The fans are done with Cena as champ. The Cena experiment should be over. He doesn’t need the WWE title anymore and he makes a better challenger.Personally, despite his recent drug issue, I think we are on the verge of Jeff Hardy really breaking out and they now need to start putting him in main events of PPVs. His WWE Title reign could possibly come at Summerslam, though. Which would definitely make it the 2nd biggest event of the year that its supposed to be, to say the least.
Best segment: Y2J & Jericho. Nothing like bringing back the old Barbershop angle into the millenium, with Y2J playing as Shawn Michaels and Shawn Michaels playing as Marty Jannety. Very intense. I would like to see them be 2nd headliners for Night of Champions for the IC Title!