Monday Night Raw ABRIDGED 07.07.2008 Is he alive or dead?
Stephanie McMahon: Daddy is still in critical condition. Everyone pull together and have a great show!
Vicky Guerrreo: EXCUSE ME! EXCUSE ME! EXCUSE ME! EXCUSE ME! EXCUSE ME! I want CM Punk to surrender the title belt AND an apology!
CM Punk: Let me think about that for a second. Ummm… NO!
JBL: I want a rematch!
John Cena: I want a title shot!
Batista: ME WANT FOOD!
John Cena: I want a title shot!
Batista: ME WANT FOOD!
Kane: I, too, would like a total shot! I’M A MONSTER!
CM Punk: All of you all, fatal fourway tonight!
Rey Mysterio: BOOYAKA! BOOYAKA!
Santino Marella: Mama Mia!
Santino Marella: Mama Mia!
:: Rey Mysterio wins ::
CM Punk: Tonight in the fatal four-way, I want the…
Lamp: I FALL DOWN!
CM Punk: What the fu…
Snitsky: I never got a title shot!
CM Punk: Well, we can have a non-title match tonight!
Snitsky: ALRIGHT! NON-TITLE!
CM Punk: Well, we can have a non-title match tonight!
Snitsky: ALRIGHT! NON-TITLE!
John Cena: Mickie, I had fun last night.
Mickie James: Me too!
Kelly Kelly: HEY GUYS! I’m on RAW now!
John Cena: God bless America!
Kelly Kelly: HEY GUYS! I’m on RAW now!
John Cena: God bless America!
Jillian Hall: LET ME SINGG!
Layla: God damn! Just for that, don’t even bother tagging out to me the entire match!
Layla: God damn! Just for that, don’t even bother tagging out to me the entire match!
Kelly Kelly: Even my entrance theme is better than that crap!
Mickie James: Bouncy Bouncy Bouncy!
Mickie James: Bouncy Bouncy Bouncy!
:: Mickie James & Kelly Kelly win! :
JBL’s Limo: Where’s JBL?
JBL: Who is in my damn limo?!
John Cena: PSYCHE! WE ARE STOOPID!
Cryme Tyme: SO ARE WE! STOOPID!
John Cena: Watch us vandalize your limo. In fact, let me spray paint “JBL IS POOPY” on your limo, STOOPID!
JBL: Dammit! I’m just going to stand here and let these guys do this instead of calling my security force I hired last week!
Snitsky: I’m evil!
CM Punk: I’m straight edge!
:: CM Punk wins ::
CM Punk: I’m straight edge!
:: CM Punk wins ::
HBK: Jericho, I accept your challenge!
Y2J: I knew you would!
Lance Cade: I knew you would too!
HBK: Yes, I knew I would accept your challenge as well… Y2J, you are not me.
Y2J: I knew you would!
Lance Cade: I knew you would too!
HBK: Yes, I knew I would accept your challenge as well… Y2J, you are not me.
Y2J: As you aren’t me either!
Charlie Haas: I still work here!
Kofi Kingston: JAMAICAN ME CRAZY!
:: Kofi wins! ::
Kofi Kingston: JAMAICAN ME CRAZY!
:: Kofi wins! ::
Paul Burchill: TWISTED SISTER! CURB STOMP, BIYOTCH!
Batista: …
Random Guy: BOOM BOOM BOOM!
Security: WHAT THE FUCK?!
Batista: … ME WANT FOOD!
John Cena: JBL is Poopy!
JBL: I am NOT Poopy!
Batista: Me want food!!!
Kane: I’m a monster!
:: Batista wins ::
Kane: Is he alive or DEAAAAAD?!
Michael Cole: Whut?
Kane: Is he alive or DEAAAAAD?! Bare witness to my chokeslam!
Michael Cole: Chokeslam? THIS IS VINTAGE KANE!
Jerry Lawler: I don’t think so!
Kane: Is he alive or DEAAAAAD?!
::credits roll ::
RJ45’s Perspective:
-
Who is “he?” Well, its basically going to be either: A. Vince McMahon, B. The Undertaker, or C. A New Wrestler.
Probably Vince McMahon cause they need to either move this angle forward or they need to act like it never happened when he does return cause this “Keep him in your prayers” bullshit is getting old already.
-
CM Punk is doing good so far as champion. I think his title win was a bit unexpected and so the fans aren’t sure how to react, yet. I think possibly going over Batista at the BASH will help solidify his status as a main eventer. Batista is the logical guy since he is the guy who beat down Edge for Punk.
-
I take it that Kelly Kelly is Melina’s replacement. Talking about losing your spot almost immediately after you get injured. Kelly Kelly is a surprisingly talented wrestler considering she used to be a bikini model, so she is a good fit for the woman’s division. She’s a lot better than Melina, that’s for sure!
-
They really need to do what they did in 1999. Everyone had a storyline, even minor ones! Instead, we get random “What the fuck?! OH YEAH! I forgot about him!” appearances from Snitsky and Charlie Haas.
-
Once again, too many interviews, not enough matches. Its an improvement over last week, but they could have easily cut out the limo segment and instead did a Cryme Tyme vs. Simply Priceless match instead. Also, the opening interview needs to be trimmed from 24 minutes to 10 to 12 minutes. We don’t need all of this filler! RAW has a great talented roster that needs to be utilized more!
Well, that is it for this week, till next time!
RJ45
Posted in Raw Abridged Recap |
July 8th, 2008 at 5:19 pm
I thought it was hilarious that Cena and Cryme Tyme busted up JBL’s limo…I just wish that they would have taken off the horns too!
July 8th, 2008 at 5:56 pm
Yeah, that is what I kept thinking. Why didn’t they go for the damn horns?!